 
 
i watch through the window as the mailman brings the mail up the driveway.  i don't rush out to meet him.  i don't want to appear that desperate and lately i realize that the news can hurt. so, i wait a second and watch him pull away.
i reach into the mailbox and can tell that there are no large folders.  no, welcome to the program size folders.  ok, maybe there aren't any letters today.
and then i see it.  the return address from my top choice.  on a little envelope.  against my will my eyes start to tear up.