i watch through the window as the mailman brings the mail up the driveway. i don't rush out to meet him. i don't want to appear that desperate and lately i realize that the news can hurt. so, i wait a second and watch him pull away.


i reach into the mailbox and can tell that there are no large folders. no, welcome to the program size folders. ok, maybe there aren't any letters today.


and then i see it. the return address from my top choice. on a little envelope. against my will my eyes start to tear up.