let's start with the spa, shall we? i am not a girly girl for the most part. at least that's what i like to think. but i love being pampered at the spa. so i was all set for saturday's relaxation. european facial, dead sea mud mask, hour massage...heaven.

facial was luxurious. my hands and feet treated to heated parafin wraps while i was massaged, exfoliated and moisturized in a tranquil, aromatherapy filled room.

next on to the mud treatment. we had never had this treatment before and were unsure what to expect.

i was ushered into the candlelit room where the sounds of meditative music were quietly playing.

i looked over to the table. and it seemed to glisten. hmmm. i looked more closely. no, not glistening--it was shiny. the table was covered in what looked suspiciously like a white trash bag. and what was more unsettling...three little plastic bags lined up along the tabletop.

what's in these bags? so glad you asked because my imagination was running wild.

first bag: a plastic hair covering. ok, keeps the mud off you. i get it. practical.

the other two: disposable underwear. disposable underwear??!!! it was kind of a braveheart blue and made from that paper/faux fabric that hospital gowns consist of.

but wait, i don't remember them asking for sizes?? as the technician opens the bags she pulls the disposable bra out and stretches it to show me how its a one size fits all bra. hhahahahah. hi. i'm michelle. perhaps we haven't met, but that tube sock you are holding is going to be fairly useless.

one size fits all? one size fits one maybe. then the underwear which was little more than a thin sliver of faux fabric with side straps that were long enough to pull up over your shoulders.

she tells me to get changed and then lie on the table face up. i am all about small underwear. but please folks. my own underwear, carefully chosen and sized.

i was feeling pretty exposed when she came back in and slathered the mud all over me. mud where mud should never be. and all i kept thinking was, "isn't this the same mud i tell jim and the boys not to throw on me when we are at west beach???"

then she swaddles me in the trash bag. covers that with a heating blanket and clamps it all down with buckles that look like they are from the set of young frankentstein.

"back in an hour! enjoy!"

arms strapped at my sides, caked in mud, and you know i had an itch on my nose!

when she got back in and unwrapped me, she left me alone for a relaxing shower. now, i have the giggles. i look fairly aboriginal in caked mud and tiny tribal blue disposable undies. so i start doing a little dance like something from the movie krippendorf's tribe. i am laughing so hard i almost slip on the mud that is washing off me.

it's then that i realize she has queitly knocked and slipped back in. yes, that's right, a little tribal show. and i am sure that my relaxing music has monkeys in it.

by the time i meet back up with my sister, mom and aunt, i am laughing so hard i can't catch my breath. tranquil? no. but i haven't laughed so hard in months. and for a whole few hours (and a tribal dance) i forgot about grad school apps.

hey, we also snuck in two movies...told you it was a good weekend.