before they could enter their hotel and begin the safari, they went to the park for some space exploration. wonderful mom, generous dad and darling boys were so lucky. there was no one in any lines. the park had been magically left open. just. for. them. they went on space mountain, space ranger spin, stitch's great escape, tomorrowland speedway, and the carousel of progress. (wonderful mom can sometimes also be geeky mom and really enjoys this ride. she will sing the song for you someday when she is able...it's a great big beautiful tomorrow......) some of the magic family even donned space gear.


the happy, gleeful family was soon tired from their fight with the evil airline and decided to head back to the savannah to find their quarters. it was there that wonderful mom first saw where she and the darling boys would be staying. and then the boys squealed and yelled and looked and pointed at everything they could see from their own magical window ledge.
the happy family made their way, awestruck, from their room to the african dining room in the hotel. all enjoyed the best meal of the trip, even though youngest darling boy only eats chicken nuggets. poor poor boy. he at least believes these were special african chicken nuggets. and wonderful mom? she had dessert that was so good she would give up generous dad for it ;)


"please dear parents, may we swim?" asked darling boys and what were two wonderful parents to do but agree? so they swam and they slid until the wonderful parents begged them to come back inside. seems wonderful mom was feeling a bit sleepy and that scratchy throat was getting a bit bothersome.


wonderful mom and generous dad heard crunching in the night. was it a late night snacking child? no. was it a big mouse? nope. it was an escapee. one of the big stripey beasts (wonderful mom was unaware of the names of all the critters) had escaped and was under their window. seems there was a good reason that this lodge had no first floor rooms!


the next morning the wonderful family awoke to rain. not a magical misting, but a downpour. would this stop the family from a fun family vacation? no no. donning giant plastic ponchos they attacked epcot. wonderful mom was starting to wear down. generous dad was noticing that his pockets were slowly leaking money and darling boys seemed a bit less darling in the rain. still they trudged on through 3D movies, video escapades and a new and scary adventure. mission space. wonderful and now leery mom had never been on a ride with so many warnings about motion sickness, so many escape routes, so many offered chances to change her mind. but generous dad and darling boys had turned into space cadets and saw no danger. "danger! danger! will robinson!" wonderful mom's little conscience was yelling. but she was brave and daring even if it was under pressure. never before had wonderful mom been on a ride that provided passengers with barf bags. 9Gs. no problem. 0 gravity. no problem. wonderful mom and the daring adventurers handled it all. wonderful mom's ear now begins to ache. maybe it was just the rides?


off to mgm. wonderful mom's favorite park because where else can she subject the family to 24 hour showtunes and movie memoribilia? oooooh. wonderful mom cooed. they rode tower of terror. they headed for a warm nutricious dinner at hollywood and vine. they loaded up their plates with piles of food (except for littlest darling boy who had chicken nuggets) and then.....wonderful mom did not feel so wonderful. she felt distinctly less than wonderful. she felt as if she had eaten the poison apple. she could find no witch. no witch anywhere. but she knew she must find the bathroom. and find it again. and again. and she began to panic. how would she make the long ride back to their perfect oasis of a room? generous yet nervous dad helped her onto the bus and wobbly mom made it back to the room just in time for a few more rounds and to finally fall shivering asleep.


in the morning, woozy mom tried to get up, to follow the plan. fun fun and more fun. but she could not do it. nervous dad took both the restless boys to mgm where littlest darling boy rode his first upside down roller coaster! maybe groggy mom would feel better by the afternoon. but no, that was not to be. weary mom had eaten her last solid meal of the adventure. as her stomach began to mend, her fever spiked as high as the tallest tower of the kingdom and her throat closed tighter and tighter.


the still hopeful family headed towards their magical cruise. the part wonderful (but now slightly sickly) mom had been dreaming about for a long long time. and then, when the uniformed men announced the magical family and the crowds cheered....they were onboard!! a quick drill and a glimpse of the mickey pool and the cruise was underway. generous dad, was apparently now "stuffing himself with food dad" and enjoying both his and poor dreary mom's all you can eat food. the attendants waited on the magic family hand and foot. they pulled their beds down and left them candy. they brought them food and towels and ice chips for now mute mom. the poor suffering mom could no longer swallow even liquids and was forced to see the evil dr. in the basement of the boat. she wobbled down and evil dr (cleverly disguised as a caring medical professional) poked at her poor throat.


"tonsilitis!" he proclaimed and sent her away with magic pills. but these pills were so huge and so large that poor mute mom could not take them. she would cry and gag and choke and her little throat closed up more and more. she laid in the magical bed on the magical boat staring at all the beautiful details in the room. she watched every movie, and they were plentiful. she stayed up all night trying to just have an ice chip or two.


"please, brave the journey without me." said sad brave mom. tired dad and his two active boys ran around the ship and enjoyed the adventure.


poor sick mom missed the musicals. the musicals! she was sad. sick mom did not get to sit in a deck chair and read even once. how she longed for those titanic looking deck chairs but she could not focus her weary eyes any longer. she just lay in bed, feverish and quietly mouthing showtunes while her little eyes teared up.


tired dad ferried the kids from island to island. snorkling and playing. weary mom tried to see an island and managed to go to castaway cay for a little bit but spent the hour wrapped in towels sleeping on a beach chair til helpful dad made her go back to the ship.


the family plodded on with their fantasy vacation. but without the wonderful mom and her wonderful sense of humor they were not as happy.
on the day they left the ship sick mom could no longer walk and was wheeled from the ship in a beautiful carriage like a princess. or at least that's what delirious mom thought as they guided her wheelchair off the ship.


after finding out that crazy older son was a dangerous dangerous carriage driver, bruised mom, stressed dad and whiny boy checked into a hotel for the afternoon so they could rest before the flight. but alas, the flight was not to be. dying mom fell to the floor and panic boy and stress boy could not wake her. scared dad called a cab and they were whisked to the emergency room.


this was not on the itinerary. but dying mom was now too sick to care. so what if she had traded space mountain for a CT scan. so what if her funfilled day was spent in a colorful waiting room while the scattered attendants lost her test results for over 5 hours. stressed dad was trying to occupy the demon children and change hotels and dying mom could no longer breathe or swallow. they missed their flight, and a better part of their vacation. dying mom had more adventure in store though.


for the bloodsucking vampires at the hospital could not find her veins and left her small withered hands bruised and swollen. and then in came a small bald man with glasses and an accent. no, dying mom was not hallucinating. there are good points to all tales of woe...but this man was really evil. despite his appearance he had instruments of torture up his sleeve.


"tonsilitis? no no. you have an absess. it has formed puss pockets (they are just never going to be as popular as lean pockets or pizza pockets!) in your throat, tonsil and ear. we will lance them."


"lance them!" dying mom mouthed for she was now completely mute. "please no!"


but the dr could not hear her silent pleas, or apparently feel her nails digging into his arm. he stuck a looong needle into the back of dying mom's throat while she whimpered. then he took a scalpel and cut at the very source of dying mom's pain.


"eeeeeeeeee! ooooowwwwwwwww!" dying mom tried to tell him.


"now we will just open that up and let the puss drain. but don't swallow or it will go in your lungs..."


"nooooooo. this is not my cruise. this is not giant musical chorus numbers. this is not deck chairs and sunshine and books. this is not tropical drinks. no no NO NO NO NO!" she blinked.


but he did just that and opened up the wound with what looked very much like a speculum from another kind of dr (!) and dying mom's throat became a mess of blood and unge. it was in her hair and all over her numb and slightly drooling face. it appears that dying mom had been so dehyrated for so long that she would have to stay in the hospital until she could walk on her own. that, and there would be more puss draining.


finally...after a night of poking, prodding, gargling and general torment. they said weary mom could go home. hurry crazed dad and rotten children. come get me.


what? no flights? a snowstorm? no no no! but the tired family picked out a bateslike hotel and stuck it out. no, they did more than that. smallish boy (because big child could no longer drive) pushed mom around downtown disney. mom would have some disney before they left. they went to a magic store and had some ice cream and went to the movies.


they did battle with the evil airline on the way home. vowing revenge on the company and the inbreeders behind them. and finally made it home to their tiny igloo where shoveling dad will have to spend a few days digging out.


happy children are dreading school. generous dad is adding receipts and weary mom is wishing she could go on a cruise. but it seems that all the people in all the land have heard of her vacation adventures and no one wants to go with her.


have no fear. she will start planning again. and one of these days. she will win. you wouldn't want to miss that.


also, sick and tired mom is lucky to have a large group of family and friends who help her recover after all her voyages.