my beautiful deck furniture was finally delivered. not june 25, when they said it would be here, and not today, between 12-4 when they adjusted the delivery for.


two burly men hiked all the furniture around back and onto the deck where it is set up all pretty. on the new pavers. facing the wrong way. in the pouring rain. and. there. is. no. umbrella.


oh no. we ordered an umbrella. we ordered it and we were told that it would arrive june 25. ha! then we were told it would be here today. they were sure. "i have a party on the 17th,"i said. "have no fear," they said. they said that. but they lied. lying little furniture f- ...f....oh you get it.


now in my family i am the person you call if you need someone to "handle" customer service for you. i get refunds. i get credits. i can get you free crap for life. really. i am the one who can make dmv cringe like sniveling little cowards.
so what did i do considering i have people coming on saturday, my hormones are so far out of whack i may sprout an extra breast, and standing upright causes shooting pains?