not sure if i told you the little tale of the husband who stayed out late when his charming wife made his favorite dinner. she waited for hours and then sulked off to bed...sad, disappointed....and of course, with an evil plot for vengeance...

well, it seems that this poor, sweet wife did not need to enact her plan as she found out the true tale yesterday...

*cue cheesy flashback effects*

a crisp cool night and the husband gives the standard "this may be the last time i get to take my bike out for a ride" speech that she has heard a few too many times this season. but being the good and sweet wife she is...she waves him off with a "have fun dear! be careful!"

seeing the husband out there made her think he might get a chill on this little jaunt. so the sweet wife made his favorite warm and nutricious comfort foods thinking to surprise him when he returned.

30 minutes, 40 minutes. does this husband return? no no. 1 hour, 2 hours. and a phone message left on the cell phone (which he knew wouldn't be answered) so that he could avoid an actual conversation. "i decided to ride to philly to see social distortion. if i can get a ticket, i will stay, otherwise i'll be home in a little while."

it seems the husband had had an evil plan to run away with his evil friends and see a concert. a concert which he had seen only the night before while the sweet doting wife watched his cherubic little children. she was understanding then. not so much now.

so hours later, after the wife has stored his dinner neatly away in the trash. the husband comes in as if nothing has happened.

"why are you angry, wonderful wife? did i not call you to tell you of my plans?"

"grrrrr" growled the wife, pretending to sleep while she plotted his demise.

"but, because i love you, i came home, even though i got a ticket. i decided not to stay. i felt bad leaving you with the kids all night."

the husband crawled into bed and snuggled. a sure sign of guilt. selfless snuggling without an attempt for something in return. now he wife knew for sure something was wrong.

eventually, as all wives do, she found out the truth....

the husband did indeed ride to philly in the cold to see the concert. and he did purchase a ticket from the wandering scalper. but....as payment for his deceitfulness, the husband never checked what the ticket said. he entered the concert with his little heart full of glee....he listened to the opening band, slightly confused. he waited while the next band came on.

he puzzled and puzzed til his puzzler was sore. than that husband thought of something he hadn't before. seems this concert was not the same as before. seems all the money and time he had squandered away....was for the wrong concert. now he had to pay. seems this concert was for teenyboppers, prostitots, this was some pop band. not for slamming about with his friends as he planned.

now the husband is sorry, he lost his ticket money, he lost his dinner too. and now he is blog fodder. you can't blame me, can you?