No, not my own sentiment (although I often have those days) but hers.
My little someone.
The days when the mom handbook is once again seriously lacking information are once again upon me.
After a melt-down triggered by my purchase of a new toy necessity for myself. .. you know the "why can't I have one?" -and- "then why can't I have a laptop?" -and- "when can I have a cell phone?" which led to a small lecture from me which led to:
"I hate that I am so selfish"
"I hate that I am never happy unless I have something to look forward to"
"My friends don't really like me"
"I do mean things and I can't stop myself"
"I can't stand it that I always feel guilty for things I did every day"
"When I feel guilty, I can't sleep until I tell you and dad about it, but then I'm aftaid you'll be disappointed in me"
"Mommy - How do you start your life over again because I don't like ME!"
... all this said through heart-felt sobs, you know, the kind where you are pouring your heart out to the one person who can help you ... but that one person is me, and I am just a first-time mom with no answers.
N, First of all, >>. Second of all, been there, both myself and with my 2 kids. You did the BEST thing that you could do (which is also the HARDEST thing) and that is listen. You didn't poo-poo her feelings or brush them aside. She is growing up and the feelings of inadequacy creep in even if you are prom queen. Rest assured that she will be fine. She has great parents to help her through these tough times. Now, wake up you-know-who and get a little support for you!
I have three kids and my "mommy handbook" seems to lack the right things to do just about every day especially with my six year old *sigh* - I guess they're testing us most of the time and we have to come up with the right thing to do on our own. Funny how my mom always seemed to know the right things to do and say.
(came here by way of coffeesoup.com by the way)
hang in there. you did the only thing that you could do. if you are unsure if she wants or needs professional help, you can always ask her if she thinks talking to someone might help her. sometimes they surprise us by knowing what would be good for them (sometimes they surprise us by not seeing what would be good for them as well...it's a gamble!)
{{hugs}}
okay as you know I am not a parent (unless you count cats!). but I was a kid, a very long, long time ago...you also might know that the person that gave birth to me (bonnie), is no longer counted as my family. with all that said (and so much more un-said).
Growing up was kind of different in that my parent went through a divorce and a long (to an 8 year old), custody battle for 2+ years! But before, during, and after all that, Bonnie was always talking to my brother and me, about how we felt, how special we were, how dad and her felt about us. I guess just making sure we felt, and knew we were loved. I don't think there are any sure fire answers to questions kids ask, but probably the best thing is the fact that the kid(s) come to you and ask the question in the first place. I also think it's awesome that you don't blow it off as just moody.
Kids now a days are growing up WAY too fast. When I was her age, I was more worried about whether my bike chain was gonna fall off, or will I be able to eat over Jimmys house tonight! Of course boys don't 'think' as much as girls do.
You're doing everything you can, and that is what counts, or all anyone can ask for.
That's hard. My oldest is 12, and there have been times that she has broke my heart, telling me how unhappy she is about things - friends, school, etc. I decided that as long as it was a once in awhile thing, rather than an often thing, accompanied by other worries, that it is prob nothing more than growing up, and hormones. It's hard to be that age. All we can do is be there for them.
I remember the guilt thing only too well. I think that it is a good thing, it shows she is caring of other people. She gets that by way of genitcs you know. I was just the same and my parents were always there to listen (and sometimes the nice lady next door too:) ) Listen and love that's all you can do. Be glad she is comming to you and kuddos to you for always being there. As long as you are she will always share her heart with you. I know I still go to my parents with all my hopes and fears. And they are still listening and that is a comforting thought. Love you guys!!
No advice hon, just ((((hugs)))), Kayla is too small yet for me to know how to handle that situation.
I honestly think you said all the "right" things...I would have felt comforted if it was me :)