(apologies if you see this same entry elsewhere, I may have swiped her quip)
Things not to say to your corporate boss:
In response to "What's new":
"Same old, same old" ~ "Then come up with something new."
In response to "Looking forward to hearing your speech tonight"
"Oh, we don't give speeches" ~ "You don't? Well, we'll have to see about that"
In response to: "What's new?" (to another employee)
"(with a smile)My new flat screen monitor has increased my productivity" ~ "Do you know you are the only employee in the company with a flat screen monitor?"

.... and so our day goes ....