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February 23, 2006
Viva La Desperation!
This has got to be a first!
Five episodes in to the new season (once again apologies to all American readers who are probably months ahead of us) and I haven’t whittled on about Desperate Housewives, not even once.
To be perfectly honest, now I know who Dana is and why Mike kept pulling those I’m-up-to-something faces every five minutes, so far season two as a whole does not have the same impetus as season one.
Carlos is in prison and so doesn’t appear quite as much as he should. The new family haven’t yet been built upon adequately enough for me to care why they’ve got a bloke stashed in the cellar. I’ve got the message that Lynette finds it tough going back to work because she misses the kids, boy has that storyline been done to death. Teri Hatcher is only worth her hideous fee in order to set up the irregular but funny exchanges between Susan and Edie and yes, I suppose James Denton is mildly good looking but not enough to warrant putting down a good book for a whole hour.
BUT (and I fear I’ve said this before so I‘ll make it brief) Bree Van de Kamp single-handedly makes my TV licence worth paying ten hundred times over. The writers have portrayed a roundness and depth, not afforded to any one else on the show and she has some of the best lines;
GEORGE; ready to get down to it after dinner. Are you sure you’re ready for this? It’s not too soon?(For those who have better things to be doing with their Wednesday evenings, he is of course referring to her husband’s death. D’uh keep up.)
BREE; Well I was hoping to digest the duck a little longer but what the hell?!
Marcia Cross brings further dimension to the character showing her up as one of the great actresses of our time. In fact I fear for her safety because I’m feeling all nasty and irrational and I might just stalk her because *sob* SHE IS NOT MINE! No I don’t want to marry her or anything like that (but then again if she is offering?...) really I’m jealous because I myself did not design Bree Van De Kamp, I did not make her, I DID NOT WRITE HER GODAMMIT!!! And if I didn’t write her, then no one else can have her.
*psychotic glance from side to side*
The tragedy of the situation is that in my first attempt at NaNoWriMo way back in - oooooh 2004 (a good few months before I ever saw the first episode of Desperate Housewives) I had a character with a cleaning obsession. I was proud of her at the time but now I loathe her. I want to either kill her off painfully and slowly, or rip all her dull, vile scenes to shreds, or at the very least give her another obsession because Goddamn her SHE WILL NEVER BE BREE! And more to the point I am simply a vile worthless hack who will never write anyone quite so funny, so tragic, so tender, so beautiful as Bree Van De Kamp.
Maybe I should just stick to watching television, it is surely all I’m good for. And so whilst Bree Van De Kamp still resides on Wisteria Lane then Purple Elephant shall at least remain unresponsive to all other stimulus between the hours of 10 and 11pm on a Wednesday.
Long live Bree! And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Posted by purple elephant at February 23, 2006 09:01 PM