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September 18, 2005
Sometimes it is best to just go with the flow
I thought I’d interrupt the sudden and uncharacteristic seriousness of Purple Elephant’s Corner to bring you the surrealism of a conversation I overheard at 7am this morning.
Background; The nutters next door had a party last night, thankfully at 1:30am everybody decided to leave. (lightweights - the kids today just don’t know how to party) There was some commotion as one of the cars broke down at the junction and all his mates thought it would be funny to queue up behind him revving their engines and holding their hands on the horns.
Needless to say I didn’t see the funny side as it brought Littleone into our bed, demanding to know what was going on. Finally at last they took it upon themselves to bump start the old banger and they all disappeared and silence reigned once more. Except that an hour later Littleone woke up screaming and pointing at the wall.
‘I don’t like the wall in here. Take me back to my room.’
You should note that this is highly unusual, once she has come into our bed for the night, it is hugely difficult to get her back.
‘Whey hey! Off you go then!’
Cut to 7am this morning, Mr PE and I are dreaming of Sunday morning lay-ins of yore, when we are greeted with that all too familiar sound of pitter patter, pitter patter THUD THUD THUD!
A child’s face leans over my side of the bed.
‘Daddy?’
*snore*
‘DADDY!’
‘WHOAH! What? I mean it’s Mummy’s turn.’
‘Turn?’ I mutter under my breath, ‘since when did turn come into it?’
‘I don’t want Mummy. I want you.’
‘What do you want?’
‘I need to ask you a question.’
He sighs without opening his eyes, ‘Fire away...’
‘Did you put those blue spots there?’
‘What blue spots?’
‘The ones on the wall.’
‘Which wall’
‘The one behind you.’
He opens one eye, passes a glance at the wall, looking suspiciously like he is raising one eye to the heavens.
‘I can’t see any blue spots.’
‘That’s because they are only there in my dream. Right now it’s daytime....’
‘By your definition of the word.’
‘...and they are not there anymore.’
Confused silence. Maybe she’ll go away...
‘So did you?’
‘What?’
‘Put them there?’
‘Geez, didn’t Mummy do it or something?’
‘No.’
‘Why?’
‘Because she was asleep. You must’ve done it.’
‘Perhaps I did. Oh yes I remember now. Yes I did! That settles it, can I go back to sleep now?’
Silence.
‘Well I don’t like them.’
‘Why?’
‘They’re too scary.’
‘OK - well - er...’ he suddenly looks rather chuffed with himself.. ‘I’ll take them down then.’
Littleone almost collapses on the floor with laughter.
‘What now?’
‘You can’t.’
‘Can’t what?’
‘Take them down?’
‘Why on earth not?’
‘Because they are not there...’
‘Huh?’
‘I told you. They were only there in my dream and dreams aren’t real.’
‘Right so why are we having this conversation now then?’
‘Because I kept asking you in my dream but you wouldn’t answer, so I’m asking again now.’
It was right at this moment that I gave up being able to cope, I leaped out of bed announcing that it was time to get up.
I don’t know what they were smoking at this party last night but I’m sure it must have seeped through the walls.
Posted by purple elephant at September 18, 2005 08:25 AM