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May 13, 2005
Lesson for the day; Trust your instincts.
Had a chilling scare yesterday. Littleone and I walked home with a friend of hers who lives a couple of blocks down from us. I had my hands even more full than usual, her book bag, my own bag, a bag of shopping from the shop, a sun flower and a broad bean she had grown at nursery, a bike she had abandoned half way down the road, oh and a half eaten packet of crisps, split down the side that she had also abandoned. So we get to the road just in front of our house and I didn’t have a spare hand to grab on to her. She was very good at first, I told her to wait next to Mummy and not move until I told her to. The road was clear and we all walked across to the pavement the other side, I watched her put her foot on the pavement in safety. Phew thank God for that. Except for some reason, and I’ll never know why, she then turned round and ran straight back in the road again, by which time there was a car coming.
No parent should ever have to feel that heart stopping fear as they helplessly scream at their child running into the path of an oncoming car and I hope to God none of you have to witness such a sight and of course I hope I never have to do it again. Thankfully she stopped and ran back just in time and I put the fear of God in her by shouting frantically; ‘What in God’s name did you think you were doing?’ and ‘How could you be so stupid?’ Before hugging her tight and practically not letting go for the rest of the day.
Of course the abuse was directed inwards at myself because I hadn’t felt comfortable about not holding her hand but I didn’t exactly have a spare one (but where your kid’s safety is concerned you FIND one) Also her friend is one of those super advanced for his age type kids (out of nappies and buggy dumped by 18 months, can walk anywhere and keep up with the adults etc etc) I’ve never consciously compared the two but I suppose subconsciously in that split second I had to make a decision, I guess somewhere at the back of my mind I thought ‘But he never has to hold his Mum’s hand and he is always OK’
Also I tend not to walk that way, I take the zebra crossing and walk the longer way round as I don’t like crossing where we did, although there are traffic calming measures, no one takes a blind bit of notice and also they hinder visibility somewhat. But again Littleone wanted to walk with her friend…
I’ve never succumbed to peer pressure, keeping up with the Jones; or comparing my kid with others, but yesterday I saw how it all works in mysterious ways and with what could have been tragic consequences.
Every time I close my eyes I see that blur of green stripes heading towards that car. Something tells me it will haunt me forever.
Posted by purple elephant at May 13, 2005 07:50 AM