Sometimes Sparky is a great guy who works hard and gets things done.

And sometimes....

Yeah, it's one of those other times.

The piano is in the driveway. He didn't arrange for help to get it in. Huge storm coming tonight and this weekend. Doesn't matter how much you cover it. It won't survive a storm outside.

Good thing we hustled up north in a loud, uncomfortable, expensive rental truck to pick it up, huh?

Grrrrrrrrr.....

and also, my damn blog isn't working right. not this one. not the tv one and not the book one.

i believe it's martini night.

Have I mentioned that my internet connection, you know, the Comcast digital one, is slower than dial up for the last week? And have I mentioned that my phone only makes outgoing calls now? Really?

Well, you know how much I love to have those Comcast guys come out for a visit. We wouldn't want to go a week without seeing them. So, I called them again yesterday and they assured me they were on it. Whew! Good thing, huh?

Oh and get this...they shut off my service this morning for non-payment!! Silly me, not paying for non-service. What the hell was I thinking. I'm on hold right now. This should be fun.

Oh wait, it seems they tried to call me to let me know they were going to shut it off but....wait for it....my. damn. phone. wasn't. working.

I know that we are officially on every damn spam list because of recent mortgage applications. I get it. We get junk mail and spam email. But I find it really offensive that there are specific mortgage companies that are spamming me and telling me that I should accept their offer as a "gift from above." That I would be morally wrong not to work with a xian lending company.

You have got to be kidding me!

First of all, obviously they are just blindly spamming away because I am not a Christian. But even if I was I would be offended at that kind of manipulative bullshit.

I made sure to click their unsubscribe button but also sent this:

Back off bitch. I didn't make this mistake. You did and trust me, copping an attitude with me is going to be a big mistake.

I put three ads in the paper yesterday to run this week. Two for properties for sale and one with an apartment to rent. We need these things to happen so that all goes smoothly with the new house.

When I check the paper this morning they are listed in f-ing Pennsylvania!!! Apparently the name of the town here also exists in PA and the dimwit just put our ads in the PA section. Then when I call she cops an f-ing attitude with me. Funny though, when she checks the order history it shows that I ordered correctly.

"Obviously it was a mistake. I don't know why you would be so upset."

Ack.. Let's talk about paying over a $100 ea for ads that aren't run correctly.

OK, ok, who knew I was really evil. No, besides you. But I didn't know that my sporatic exercises were going to send me over the edge. Crazies, crazies everywhere!!

as found over at God is for Suckers:

If you still are shaking your head in disbelief and just can't resist reading the whole article it's over here. It's written by Laurette Willis the found of PraiseMoves which is, of course, the Christian alternative to yoga. Not to be confused with Christian Yoga of course. nooooo.

Crazies, I tell ya. They make things interesting.

Oh, one more little quote 'cause I can't resist:

Wouldn't want to go around quoting books now would we??

I think I am just going to head out for a walk tonight...

I love the girl who comes in to clean my house every other week. Could I do it myself? Sure. But that's why I love her.

Her pimp though? (Madam?) Not so much. The woman runs a whole gaggle of girls and drops them off throughout the town. But apparently she called late last night while we were at the fields (where else!) and left a message saying that she would like to drop Ranata off at 7:30 in the morning. If she didn't hear back she would assume it was ok.

NO IT IS NOT OK!!!!

Now I know some of you who are forced to get up early for work are thinking, "Why is she complaining about getting up at 7:30?" or even "Why is she complaining that a cleaning person is coming in?"

Well, suck it.

If you didn't have to get up early you wouldn't either. We aren't talking teenage sleep marathons here, just sleeping 'til a whopping 8-8:30. And no one, no one, likes to stumble to the door in their pajamas, scraggly hair, boobs a flappin', to be greeted by bright and perky people. No one.

Poor C stumbled out of bed in his tighty whities to be mortified that someone was here--a girl someone. And the house? When I know she is coming we straighten up. That's half the purpose of the cleaning person. You have to pick up the toys, clutter, etc so she can clean. This morning. F-off. Not going to happen. I had to stagger to Acme to be greeted by Cleetus the toothless cashier, who hasn't brushed his tooth since the early 80s, to buy cleaning products that we were out of before I even got to have a complete thought.

J is screaming that she used too much Lysol and we are breathing toxic fumes. He is sure it is a plot and we are all going to die a horrible disinfected death.

C is hiding in his room, embarassed by the tighty whitey adventure. And me? Well, I'm just a natural cheery, perky fucking morning person. Can't you tell???

Just until I get settled in and write all about Kzoo...

3 boys + 3 days alone = at least 3 months of recovery clean up time.

GRRRRRR

A couple of examples:

- I can't make (or receive) any phone calls. Why you ask? Well, because after searching for over an hour for the cordless phone, I found it shoved underneath the couch cushions with a completely dead battery. This is because, according to Sparky, "the kids" lost it sometime on Saturday. Saturday?!?!

- Before I left I did at least 6 loads of laundry so that the boys would have plenty to wear. This morning? Not a single clean pair of pants to send C to school in. How can this be you ask? I know I was asking. Well, it seems that they engaged in many, many water fights this weekend and since they always want to look their best they came in and changed clothes whenever they got too wet. But wait! Wouldn't clothes dry in a few days? Ah, no, my friends. Not when they are left in little smoldering, stinky wet piles of boy laundry around the floors of the messiest bedrooms ever.

- Four days worth of dishes. 'Nuff said.

i got another forwarded email this morning from a "well-meaning" relative. let me share with you because i want you to appreciate how restrained i was in not smacking the reply button:

all this fun before sparky's plane even landed in sunny florida:

let's say that you had a fancy new(ish) car and because it was under warranty you decided to take care of a pesky little leak. now you've already taken it in for this leak before and you aren't as happy to bring it in a second time. but the dealership gives you a fancy sports car that goes vroom!vroom! and you have fun zipping about town so you let it slide.

then tonight, you leave older child home for a few minutes alone (he is very big and responsible and proud that he can be alone for 15 minutes or so!) while you zip! and vroom! over to the lazer tag place to pick up littlest son from a b-day party.

on the way home the car starts going flap!flap!thwack!bang!rattle! which is definitely not vroom!vroom! now you know that this would be the night you forgot your cell phone, right? so now littlest son is going sob!sob!we're going to have to sleep here! and you are trying not to go AAAAAAAH! but you pull it together and get the car to limp across the road to the mall parking lot so you can ask the pleasant and friendly security ass for a phone.

you wouldn't be happy, would you?

yeah. me either. but then...very nice car dealership calls me back late in the evening and apologizes for inconveniencing me and offers to pick me up in the morning to give me an even zippier loaner car. they didn't give me a hard time at all.

so by tomorrow morning i will once again be zipping about going vroom!vroom! i just wonder why this happens every. single. time. hubby goes out of town.

oh, and i have to take my tiny, hard to find, yet insured veins in for bloodwork tomorrow. ewwwwww. nasty bloodsucking vampires.

so not only did i wait two hours and spend $50+ to find out that c has strepth...

i came home to the dreaded blue screen. i apparently fried my hard drive on the desktop. many many files that need to be rescued. i am currently sitting on hold with tech support and trying not to cry....again.

also, car not fixed.....again. still driving rental car.

on edit: i just gently informed the tech support guy that he can't charge me $99 for 72 hours of support if the next call back slot isn't until tommorrow at 9-fucking-pm!!! see? that would imply that you are only going to be delivering 48 hours of support at the very most since you are apparently sitting there whacking off to internet porn for the middle 24 hours! oddly enough, i will be getting a call back in an hour ;)

i am too stressed and pissed off to get into all the details, but health insurance in this country is f-ing ridiculous. if you make excessive amounts of money, good on you, you can be insured. and if you hardly make any, we've got a plan for you too. but...if you own your own business and/or make an average amount of money? fuck off. no insurance for you. it would cost more than a mortgage payment and wouldn't cover any basics anyway. you know...basics like prescriptions and check ups.

so once again i am sitting here wondering whether it is worth it to get better or should we just tough it out and see what happens. i am so sick of it. i am sick of having to weigh out just how much everyone's health is worth. but for today, since it isn't me, it's the munchkin, we are headed in. and you know what sucks? i already know he has strepth, all the kids in his class have strepth, and instead of calling in a prescription, we are going to go in and have a check-up and run some f-ing tests and then call in a prescription.

if you have health care, then this would cost you nothing but a grumpy kid being dragged to the office, you probably don't even really consider it. but when you don't have healthcare? well, if i were the sick one? i would just be toughing it out.

i read all over about people going to see their therapist--about people getting help or meds to get through things. and you know what? i would f-ing love to get help. but i can't justify it when i am already paying out over $350/mo for meds for j. anyone priced out health insurance for a family of four lately? it's generally between $11,000-$16,000/yr. since most don't cover j's meds you can tack on another $4200/yr. seem like a good idea? and keep in mind that most of those plans are only major medical. so no check-ups and prescriptions, if they are included at all, cap off around $500/yr.

sorry, just ranting. but i am pissed off and tired and now heading off to c's dr. to pay out an extra $100 or so for them to tell me what i already know. and, add to that, c gets to sit in a waiting room of germ infested munchkins. ah, the fun never ends.

if i were to kill slightly injure sparky today i don't think there is a judge in the land that would convict me.

on a day when it has been raining for two solid days with no sign of letting up, the boys are pitching tantrums, depression is kicking in, pms is in full swing, the basement is flooding, i have a paper hanging over my head and i am in full "i don't know what i am doing in grad school" mode...he comes up with this winner:

"you don't expect me to wear this shirt this wrinkled, do you?" (standing there next to the closet with the iron holding up his damn work shirt)

yeah, it wouldn't even go to trial.

you know what would top of an already craptacular morning?

a flat tire in the frickin' rain!

on edit: while i am bitching...my car, the one that smells like feet for no apparent reason for two days now (i am thinking possible lead in the sun roof causing funky carpet smells) and cost a gajillion dollars when we got it last year doesn't have a real spare! oh no, that would be too damn easy. it has a donut. and not the good chocolate glazed kind that would make the morning better but the kind that means i have to go and sit at the damn tire place all morning while i order the wrong damn tire so hubby can flip out at me later. shit!

know where i have to be in the morning? bright and f-ing early in the morning? jury duty. in the scummiest part of the wonderful nearby city.


i wrote that i was full-time caretaker to two children and one was special needs....apparently they don't give a shit. so now J loses a day of work and they get to meet me in a pissy mood. i may go from juror to being on trial.


damn. damn. damn.


on edit: i found this online:
" All excuses received must be in writing and received at least 10 days prior to your reporting date. Medical excuses must be accompanied by a doctor's note. If you have requested to be excused OR or checked any of the answers in the "RED BOX"' YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REPORT AS SUMMONED! We will contact you in the event that there are any questions regharding your responses or request to be excused."

ok, i don't know if they got it 10 days in advance, but i sent in a request to be excused that met their outlined requirements. so i am not going. as far as i can see, that's what it says and i am sticking to it. feh. i do find the amount of typos on the official government site very amusing...

dear mets -

it may have slipped your attention that i have been feeling under the weather these last few days. that's understandable--i know you are busy. and yet, there i was, cheering you on. i stuck it out when you lost, i heckled and cheered when you won. i was ready for today's game to decide the series.

were you? don't you know i have to leave the house tomorrow? i have to face gloating spankmee fans. and what's worse? the yankmees didn't win...no, no. you handed it to them. you just bobbled and bungled it until there was nothing left.

and i made snacks. lots of snacks. there were veggies and dip. and nachos. not just boring nachos, but layers and layers of meat and cheese and veggies. and i did not make an error. nope, i did not burn the meat or overcook the food. i did not bobble my soda or overthrow when i passed the salsa.

no, because unlike you i did not let everyone down today.

i am very disappointed in you. you just go and think about that.

thank you.

i don't mean to complain...no wait, yes i do. i do mean to complain. i have had a crap year medically speaking and i have had enough. enough dammit.

and now? it seems that what started as a run of the mill head cold has decided to settle back down into my tonsil.

i am too tired to link to the damn entry, but trust me, this gal has had one tonsil lancing too many.

i am not amused. and dammit i have done my time. wtf???!!?!?!?!?!

you can tell i am feeling better....i was wandering blogs and found the most frightening thing ever over at mac's

that just might make me feel sick all over again. scary damn people.

how about having a tonsil lanced? no? just me. alright then. suit yourselves.

yes, i am going back in to have my tonsil lanced. i am a big puddle of crying mess and just want to be able to walk for graduation on friday.

not happy and feel like someone hit me in the side of the face with a bat...kind of look like that too.

ugh.

on edit: i am home. when i feel better i will tell you about the pompous ass that decided novacaine was unnecessary as he repeatedly crammed a needle the size of a garden hose in my throat and siphoned puss. i am thinking that sometime in a dark alley novacaine will be unnecessary as i make him a eunuch! just thinking...

no hospital for now. but i am drained..pardon the bad pun...and heading to sleep. this is not the week of pampering and pedicures i had planned.

oh, and i just turned in a final that looks as if the tonsil could have written it. complete babble. i am sure that will rock.

what travel demon did i piss off? give me a friggin break, k?

reasons why you should travel with me:

1. i am not very demanding as sick people don't really need to have their choice of restaurant. they will be sleeping.
2. fevers alleviate the need for artificial heating.
3. i can find tylenol anywhere. really. i may even have the ability to spin it from straw.

fire, tornados, flood and tonsil puss aren't enough? i haven't earned one friggin' sickness free trip????

gah. off to put on my comfy pjs and watch tv and read. which isn't completely a bad thing...

honestly, i am having a giant pity party as my ego continues to take a beating this week...

i was driving back from brunch with a friend and my cell phone starts merrily ringing "meet the mets."

"who could this be," i wondered as i eyed up an unfamiliar number. "well, i guess i should answer it since i am mom of the year and it could be that one of the kids needs me..."

so i answer and get this:

strange voice:"michelle, this is patrice*, i left you a message earlier"

me:"ummm....i didn't get it. i was out."

bitchy strange voice: "i wanna know who you are and what your phone number is doing on my husband's cell phone."

me: "i don't know your husband." i pause, thinking of something appropriate to say and wondering how i got involved in this...

bitchy insane person: "you keep you hands off....."

me (interrupting the oncoming tirade): "I don't have time for this...fuck off."

yes, yes, i know i could have thought of nicer ways to cope, but it's friday and i am in no mood for this crazed asshat to suck what little sunshine there is out of this week.

i check my cellphone and there are 7 missed calls. all her. so i call hubby and he reminds me that i had a wrong number yesterday. someone named auggie who was interested in the house i have for sale. yeah, except, i don't know an auggie and i don't have a house for sale.

phone rings...different number

lunatic bitch: "you stay away from my auggie...he's married. and i know you are trying to get your hands on him. your number is in his phone."

me:"first of all, i don't know anyone named auggie. someone called me as a wrong number and left a message that he was interested in buying a house. i can only assume that this was your husband and he was trying to get the hell away from you. and let me assure you that if i were trying to steal someone's husband i would never date anyone who shares the name of a cartoon dog. honest. now please take your crazy act somewhere else and leave me the hell alone."

i hung up. whatever auggie doggie and the bitchy wife are dealing with i would rather not be involved. she has called back twice since then leaving messages that remind me that auggie is prized and special and i should keep my hands off him.

rest easy crazy girl. i am sure that auggie doggie is probably humping legs all over town. and i am sure that it has nothing at all to do with you since you are obviously not crazed and obsessive.... but i am auggie free and planning on keeping it that way. just make sure he gets his shots, 'k?

Dear Fuckwitted Phone Company -

When I call you to tell you that my voicemail isn't working. The correct answer is "Golly gee Mrs D. let me look into that for you!"
It is not, and I repeat for emphasis, not, a five minute bickering session that rivals any I ever had as a first grader.

phone jerk: "you don't have voicemail"
me: "let me assure you that i did until two weeks ago."
phone jerk: "no you didn't"
me: "yes i did"
phone jerk: "did not"
me: "did too!"

lather rinse repeat

i fully expected this guy to stomp his feet, stick out his tongue and taunt me with the traditional playground "nana na na na na"

according to the phone company i requested that all additional services be turned off as of october last year. oh, i think not phone jerk. don't piss me off.

after much taunting and bickering phone jerk decides to "upgrade" my account to include services i already have

and then this gem:

phone jerk: "well, mrs d. do you have internet access?"
me: "yup, cable."
phone jerk: "can i interest you in switching over to our dsl?"
me (feeling a bit sarcastic at this point): "why would i do that? so you can turn it off in a month and tell me i never had it while i am left with no access?"
phone jerk: "so then you would like a 30 day free trial period?"
me: "no thank you."

phone jerk: "how about satellite direct tv?"
me: "no, i prefer to actually watch tv. whenever i want. not just when you guys think i have service"
phone jerk: "so you would like to try it?"

oh for the love of chocolate people. the only reason that i have local phone service with you is that you are the only gig in town.

do i sound like another satisfied customer?????? no really, i love to have services that are disconnected at whim. it makes life more of an adventure. you just never know what's coming. oh how i wish the phone company supplied other things. groceries that may or may not show up. electric. heat. water. wouldn't that be fun? then i could talk to phone jerk all day everyday. of course, that is assuming that i have phone service.

on edit: does the phone company have access to my blog???? apparently as of this entry i no longer have comments. grrrr. i am on it. for now....email me

on edit once more: looks as if the server was hit too hard with spam. wasn't me. so just hang in there and we should be back in business soon.

i went to my final meeting as president of an english "club" (kind of an ambiguously defined writing/reading group).

i have been trying for a two years to make something happen. we have had shoddy turn-outs for any attempts at events. they would have to work up to apathetic.

there has been much whining and complaining about the lack of activities. but when we schedule activities, that they chose, no one bothers to show. fine. i give up.

so the advisor (the professor previously known as the fraggle) and i show up and chit chat. and we wait. and wait. and, yes, you guessed it, wait.

no one. well, seems appropriate that we go out with a whimper. they were complaining about the direction and we set this up so that anyone interested in taking over could come in and they could decide on new leadership (as i am finally graduating!!).

no. one.

not. one. f-ing person. so we voted to give all of our funding for speakers to the gender studies program. we both thought that that was the best use of the money anyway and now we don't have to vote.

i love that they are all very willing to criticize and complain and say how they would do a much better job. and then when it is time to step up to the plate...

just me and wembly hanging out down at fraggle rock. *clap clap* down at fraggle rock.

ok, so i am apparently unable to get comments. i am working on it. i can post comments to my own blog (so i can talk to myself as usual!) but no one else can.

if you want to comment on a brilliant and witty entry you can email me and i will post it.

or just email me to chit chat. either way it works as procrastination for the evening.

friggin spam!

some people have widescreen tvs. some people have plasma tvs. some people have projection tvs.

you know what i have????

i have a black tv!! i know, i know. how could i have gone so long without recognizing it?

you know what i hate? i hate spending over 6 hours trying to make a damn computer doohickey work with absolutely no luck. i have restarted, reformatted, reconfigured and generally redone everything.

worked yesterday. then i touched it.

*poof* broken.

so now i am going to lay on the couch and feel sorry for myself while the boys drain the tiniest ittiest bit of sanity i have left.

damn. damn. damn.

final final over. classes finished. papers done.

i was doing a happy dance down the hallway. doing a happy dance down the stairs. doing a happy dance through the parking lot.

end happy dance.

some ass hit my new car and left, just drove away. an ugly nasty 3-4 inch swipe of white paint complete with dent in the passenger door.

haven't even made a payment yet....

who never ever blogs any more....

a phone call and a plea to blog the story about the red tail hawks illegal eviction from their home of 13 years.

newsday article
abc.com story
new york times article

go here and yell and scream and complain so they can go home

and she had better start blogging for herself again soon!!

ever have one of those nights where you have an annoying song stuck in your head and it just keeps going on and on over and over and over until you can't take it and you are twitchingANDSTRESSINGANDREADYTOFLIPOUTAND.......

oh wait. damn kids just left the menu for the grinch movie playing on the dvd player.

better now.

never mind. no present. shopping sucks.

off to a funfilled day of cleaning the basement. maybe i will take the truck to the store. oh yeah, that's right, it doesn't run....

monday morning.

up. dressed. kids ready.

"hon...get gas early cause the light came on yesterday..."

my car is now sitting, almost pulled out of the driveway, completely out of gas.

this is a good sign of how today will go, dontcha think?

maybe just a visit??

i just read a comment on another blog that said that ADHD didn't really exist. that essentially it was bad parenting and too much tv.

really???

nice for someone to make sweeping damn judgments about things they have no f-ing clue about. holy geez i wanted to leap through the screen and slap someone.
i agree that too many kids are diagnosed every year and that some people use it as an easy excuse or a crutch. but if you have ever known anyone, child or adult, that truly suffers from this, you will know immediately that it is very real.

i have seen it in my son. i have watched him suffer and cry and scream. i have had him beg me to make him stop being so different.

i know it in myself. i know the pain of knowing what you are capable of and not being able to get there. for all of my whining and complaining about school, i am lucky. i am fairly intelligent. i have been on the dean's list for the last three years without giving what i know is my full effort most of the time. but when the pressure is on and i need to concentrate or get things done on tight schedules, i crumble. i keep lists, not because i am organized but because without them i don't function at all. i have utilities turned off because i can't manage to pay a bill on time. i am not irresponsible, i know the consequences, i don't need less tv or more books. as an adult i try to make adjustments that i need to make to get by. sometime it works, sometimes it just doesn't. but my son is still trying to learn that. and it is, and will be, a painful journey.

how dare someone tell me that this doesn't exist. that everyone feels a little overwhelmed once in a while. this isn't just "a little overwhelmed!" how dare you blame tv and my sparkling parenting skills for all the pain that my son feels every day.

this person says that if kids read more instead of watching tv things would be different. asshat. my kid reads for hours a day. it's called hyperfocusing. it is the flip side of ADHD. it isn't short attention spans. it's inappropriate attention spans that he (or I, for thay matter) can't control.

arrrrgh! it isn't sugar or dairy or red dye. it isn't lack of discipline or attention. it isn't that he doesn't know the consequences.

next time you want to diagnose the entire population c'mon over here and live a day in my house, or in my head. i friggin dare you.

apparently today is "drive like an asshat day"

this will be celebrated by:

- illegal turns that back up traffic into parade formation

- cell phone conversations to share the fun with loved ones

- cutting in front of cars without looking (see above)

- general asshattedness

i decided to stop on the way home from getting c and swap dvds at blockbuster.

bad plan. i had c and roxie in the truck with me (he loves when roxie comes to pick him up) so i parked in the fire lane for a sec (which i never do) and ran in. in and out - less than 2 minutes.

and then...

truck won't start. have i mentioned that it is hot as balls out, j is due home any second, i am still dressed in studious yet cute clothes that are not meant for sitting in a sweltering truck.

so we walked home. ()*&(*$%(* now i called a friend to drive me over and see if a) the truck is still there and hasn't been towed and b)if the damn thing will start. it has never done this before. but today? wtf?!?!?!?

classes are off....rehearsal...off. movies and wine tonight. stick a fork in me, i'm done. (ok really, no fork. i have had enough for one day, k?)

this is another example of what i find to be wrong with some organized religions.


take one perfectly innocent and sick little girl and ostracize her because she is different not allowing her to participate in a ceremony that she believes is very important. and why? because there was no wheat in the cracker.


the cracker is merely a symbol. exceptions should be allowed. this kind of nonsense makes me crazy.


link found by way of zuly's zu

i love them. sure i do. that's what i keep saying as i stomp around here. if this rainy day all couped up in this house is a taste of everyone being home for the summer...the only thing i can tell ya is thank the gods the hubby doesn't get the summer off as well.
cause he would be sooo grounded.

i hear a nice bottle of wine calling.

my rules:
too much whine= too much wine :)

hmmm. what exactly defines mid-morning? i would say that if we are looking at it as midnight-noon, then 6am would be about mid-morning. but let's just say for the benefit of the big butt-crackin hairy delivery men that we count midmorning as sometime between when they guzzle their first cup of coffee and when they pause to chow down on hoagies. so between 8 and noon?

perhaps, if i allow ample time for them to have 6, 7...20 cigarette breaks we can give them 10:30 or so. but when i am starting to wonder what's for lunch, we have passed morning and entered afternoon.

so where the hell is my delivery? i want the pavers dammit. i want them right now. and i want those big sweaty hairy buttcrack men to be racing here in fear of what may happen should they pass by mid-morning and head into straight on into afternoon-ish!

why is it so impossible to just give a damn delivery time?

"we'll be there sometime today between when you wake up and when you go to sleep. please be ready. be up and dressed. have the house relatively clean. don't go anywhere. make sure all phone lines are available. and don't start any projects that we will interrupt. just sit and wait. thanks."

ok, so that plan for a quiet evening? yeah, ok.

i decide, since i haven't been feeling well lately and stress makes it worse, to take a nice bath. i clean a few things off the table on the deck and ask my sweet charming family if they could get the rest while i take a bath.

oh that wacky family of mine. did they do that? no. hubby brought in something (so he says) but didn't make any repeat trips. and the boys. well, while dad was relaxing watching the game they were lighting the fire in the chiminea. and dad said they could!!

so i am trying my best to tune all of this out and relax. i have candles going and bath oils and this should be calming right? but it is a little difficult to relax when my youngest comes in to report that the fire has gotten too high and is shooting out the front. to this hubby says, "ok, don't add more."

don't add more???? oh yeah, that's the right answer. so now i am crazy towel woman shouting out the bathroom window. i am simply reminding them of the rules. these are the simple ones. never changing. don't run with scissors. don't talk to strangers. and geezy creezy don't play with fire.

i get out of the tub. try and regroup and then i look outside. everything is still on the table. obviously our new patio set will be sparkling and clean because we are never eating out there again if i am going to be the only one who brings things in and out. oh no, i will sit happily out there all by myself sipping a cool drink and watching their little hungry faces at their bedroom windows. there will be no food served out there.

and just to piss me off a little more. every time i make a trip in (and there were many!) hubby informs me that i just missed a great play in the game. or says "did you see that?"

no dear, obviously i didn't, i was busy cleaning up while you watch. are you comfy? can i do anything else for you? soda? beer? good swift kick in the ass?

and now? he is asleep on the couch leaving me in charge of the rugrats on my own.

revenge will be mine.....

ok, here we go again. i am not, by any means against anyone's right to their own spirituality or religion. i just believe that it should be up to the individual to choose and kept from the gov't.

so the president issues a proclamation declaring that the National Day of Prayer encourages Americans of every faith to give thanks for God's many blessings and to pray for each other and our Nation

hmmm...sounds ok so far, but let's look a little deeper shall we?
follow along the site kids and let's see how that "of every faith" part plays out.

i hate saying that when it isn't true and i am never really very convincing when i do.

see what time it is? 6:45. and know what time i have to leave for rehearsal tonight? 6:30.

so i call hubby. "oh," says he, sounding baffled, "i thought you had to leave at 7:30"

ummm. no.

"that's ok, no problem" i say. hard to speak when grinding your back teeth into a paste.
bad enough this concert seems to have slipped off the radar along with all of the other dinners and award thingies this month. i get it. it happens every year and he's seen it enough, but pretend dammit. pretend you are sorry you are missing it. pretend that you know it is important.

that's what marriage is all about. lol.

hubby is going to be at some workshop for the whole weekend. thankfully my parents will be at the concert to sit with the boys.

going to unclench my teeth now and pace around perfecting my "no, really, it's ok, have a good night. see you guys later." face.

on edit:7:00 and still pacing