on the "keep the crazies from moving in" campaign.

since we had to do the mold abatement anyway...Sparky is suiting up in the zip suit and respirator and hauling out the tied up bags of moldiness to the dumpster. You know. The one in the shared driveway.

C'mon...you'd love to live next door to us. Wouldn't you?

We called the owners (who we know) and told them that we were very serious about beating the offer if there is any crack at all in the contract. Hopefully it will work out. Otherwise I am going to have to start drinking much, much more.

Of all the people to be making an offer on the house next door....

The single woman with five fucking kids (teenagers to 6 months old) is having a house inspection.

NOOOoooooo!!!!!

The realtor was all perky when I was outside and said, "Look! They're back and we're going to try and get them into the house! We're doing an inspection."

I shot back, "Very small house for all those kids don't you think?"

Yeah, we aren't going to be the fucking welcome wagon. Teenagers will be left home all the time in charge of the younger ones. Sounds like a damn picnic to me. And we haven't even begun to talk about teenagers sharing a driveway with us.

Might be time to sell....

on edit: Sparky's dad is going to show us that nice colonial we had been looking at and Sparky needed to ride over and get the realtor info. And you know...it's such a nice day that he decided to crank up the ol' Harley. You know...the one with the straight pipes. Loud pipes save lives I always say...These must work 'cause the windows were rattling ;)

on edit again: We just called the realtor and made an offer on the house. We will outbid them and either rent it or flip it. Keep your fingers crossed.

I have completely emptied my bedroom closet, bagged up three bags worth of donations and now have no desire to put it all back together.

In order to effectively procrastinate I have done the following:

1)Take break for Nilla Wafers because I am fighting a cold and need cookie goodness.

2)Send Sparky to Home Depot to buy new shelves so that we will be super organized. Yes, I am buying more organizing crap. It'll work this time. Honest.

3)Scouring the internet for a way to cheat an F chord so that I can play Hallelujah (I prefer the Rufus Wainwright version). I can play all of it but that pesky F chord. Small hands. I have this beautiful arpeggio background going and then...clunk...just an F...no chord. Just clunk. clunk. pret-ty-ar-peg-gi-o. pret-ty-ar-peg-gi-o.** clunk. clunk. F-ing F chord.

4)Blogging about procrastinating. It's a thing.

I was reading over at Zoot's about our shared weakness for office supplies and I was inspired to make a list of the things I am powerless to resist while shopping. You know, the things that even know you know you don't need them, somehow follow you home anyway.

Let's start with the worst of it:

Books: I am incapable of walking out of a bookstore empty handed. I have a large stack of books to be read in my bedroom. It's so large that it teeters over the bed threatening to topple down and smother us in unread pages at any given moment. But I can't help it. They're books! They're good for you. They make you smart and stuff. How can anyone say no to books?? And I don't just buy books for me, no, I buy books for the kids and Sparky. I buy books for gifts. Novels, reference books, classics, crafting books (we'll get to that!). I just can't say no.

on edit: Just to illustrate how weak I am...I just purchased 52 Projects: Random Acts of Creativity after reading an entry over at weaker vessel. Book and craft project. Weak. I'm weak.

Movies: I have gotten better in this department but as a point of reference, we own around 300 DVDs. I have started to weed them out and started to be more selective. But I may just need a 12 step program to get through.

Office Supplies: Oh, how I love an office supply store or even just an office supply aisle. And Levenger? I may have died and gone to heaven. Many days I force myself to throw the catalog out without even glancing at the pages because I know I am weak. Pens and notebooks and books...oh my! Set me loose in Staples and I know I will come out with some kind of pens, post-its and organizational supplies. Or pens with post-its built right in. Bull clips and file boxes. Day planners and desk sets. I am also convinced that the mere process of buying organizational supplies = being organized. Hasn't worked yet. I'll keep you posted.

Exercise equipment: Admittedly, I don't buy as much of this as I do, say, office supplies. But it is the same theory. I am sure that the process of buying these tapes, DVDs, yoga mats, etc. will have me slim and fit in no time. But wait? You have to actually use this stuff? Often? Sheesh. At our past yard sale much of the exercise equipment was dusted off and sold to others who don't realize the "it only works if you use it" scam.

Craft supplies: I am actually fairly creative. I think this works against me in regards to this weakness. I am a binge crafter. I need to have all the supplies for my current obsessive project. After that, I may or may not finish. I have bags of granny squares downstairs from unfinished afghans (shut it! I am not old!), two or three unfinished scarves from my "learn to knit" phase, candle making supplies (I swear we are doing that this year!), scrapbooking stock (I used to be a "dealer." I can hook you up) and now stamping supplies for the beautiful hand-crafted cards I am making this year. I really need my own wing in the house for all of this. Because I'm sure, that if I only had my own space to be creative, I would be cranking this stuff out, right?

So....what's your weakness? What store is it that you can't leave empty handed? What do you buy that you know you don't need?

I'm not the only one, right?

P.S. We don't want to mention this to Sparky, 'k? lol

Well, they haven't been sold yet, but they are up on Ebay.

My dad just called me to let me know. A while back we had been involved in a push to try and Save the Castle. The owners have been unable to secure all the funding needed and have been forced to sell. Hey, the buy it now price is only $500,000.00.

I have written before about my last experience with the castle**. But I remember the holidays, with warm gingerbread and real fairy tales, a train and a castle, Hansel and Gretel and the Wicked Witch. I wish everyone could have a chance to go there. I hope someone with fond memories, a vivid imagination and a large pocketbook falls back in love with the castle.

In the meantime go have a look at some of the pictures and stories. If you live nearby, take a drive and have a look, bring some hot chocolate and gingerbread and remember what it looked like, smelled like, felt like to exist in that fairy tale world for a few hours.

**excerpt from previous visit in extended entry

Loved Guitar Guy. He's younger than I am but not so young that I feel like a complete dweeb. He did ask me for a list of music I might be interested in playing...a coolness test. But it seems that I passed and we are going to work towards learning some Rilo Kiley, Death Cab for Cutie and Eddie from Ohio.

Right now though. I can play the opening riff to Daytripped by the Beatles. Ok, I know. It isn't much. But it's a start and I couldn't play that this morning. My family never wants to hear it again. lol. They are going to love these lessons.

After GG left, and my fingers were too numb to keep playing Daytripper, I tried out my new stamps and made a few cards. I am really having a good time being creative and things are turning out well. There are cute cards everywhere!

This afternoon we had a little family fun and (temporarily) tattoed everyone with Mets tattoos. You do know what tomorrow is, right? I am trying not to listen to the news reports as the Mets pitching continues to crumble before the playoffs. I am sure that it will be fine.

Guitar Guy should be here any second and I am pacing like a teenager sneaking out on a first date. Gah. Nerves.

I was all geeky and made a playlist of songs I would like to be able to play on the mp3 player. Oh yeah, he's gonna love me.

I start guitar lessons tomorrow. No more plinking and plunking and attempting to teach myself. A real live guitar-playing type guy will be here tomorrow.

I can play lots of instruments. I have a degree in music. But somehow, guitar has been something I just couldn't figure out on my own. And I feel oddly not cool enough to play guitar. As much as I love jazz, I am a very classical, by the books musician. Hopefully we can crack that mold a bit.

The other drawback to knowing how to play other instruments is that starting from scratch sucks. I want to just play. I hate the beginning stuff. I know, I know. Patience. Now I just hope that this guy has plenty of patience as well. With me he is going to need it!

Just when we thought our plans for the day would be rained out...

We headed to the movies to pass a rainy afternoon and came out to find a perfect fall day--the kind where you just close your eyes, breathe in deep and soak it in.

We decided to just pack the car for the park and wing it. Skate park, bike trails, dog park, long walk--it was beautiful.

The pups love to go to the park but we had never braved the dog park before. I figured maybe they had as little in the way of doggie skills as I have in the way of people skills. But I was wrong. they romped, they played, they sniffed butts. And Shea? She even did some of the agility course!

They also got away at the skate park, hopped like rabbits as they chased a squirrel across the field and frightened some odd men lying on the grass doing sit-ups. My opinion? That's what you get for scary public exercising--especially if you are shirtless with a hairy back. At least the guys were not upset and the pups are far from ferocious.

Top the day off with me actually cooking (!) and it was a great day. Ok, so it was just lasagna but I did make apple cake for dessert so that counts.

Then my boys, freshly showered and no longer smelling much like skateboards and the dog park, snuggled up with me on the couch for a little movie watching.

C played two great games and we are on our way to play one more in about 10 minutes. In fact, I just gave the very loud, definitive, "We are LEAVING this house in ten minutes" speech (and that was just for Sparky!). He pitched two great innings, threw out a runner and went 3 for 5 in the first game. In the second he had 3 RBI, went 2 for 4 and played great.

The team won the first game and lost the second on a dramatic walk off hit by the other team. The guys took it hard but were quickly cheered by chocolate and a reminder of how well they did over the double header.

Last night in lazy cooking baseball celebration mode we stopped for some pizza. C and his buddy were playing football with coins on the table when C decided another game would be fun. He wanted to know if his buddy wanted to play "titty winks." After soda sprayed from all the adults nostrils, corrections were made and a small game of tiddly winks commenced.

Ok, off for one more game. This one is the town pick up game though. Lots of guys, all ages, just for the love of the game. You know C is there. And Sparky is in charge tonight. He looks damn hot being all in charge and coachy.

Eyes burning. Head oogey. Throat scratchy.

I knew we had been too lucky with back-to-school healthiness. We thought we had escaped the petri dish of new classrooms.

Time for soup, tea, books and a Tivo full of new episodes.

Apparently scrambled thoughts are all that I am capable of for a few days:

- Used my Border's birthday rewards today and got The Keep - Jennifer Egan and Continuum (John Mayer's new CD). Absolutely loving the CD.

- Gmail has been acting wonky all morning and making me crazy. I just need to hop on and do a few things and it isn't letting me. Grrrr.

- Big pot of chili cooking and new home scent oils burning around the house. I was feeling very calm and content until smallest monster came home and grouched, "Ewwww. What is that smell??"

- Made the boys bring their cell phones on their bike ride in case I needed to call them to come home. Called and got their voicemail!! When I asked them they answered, "The phones were in our pockets so we can't answer if we are riding our bikes!" Yeah. Ok. Pull over or you may just lose bikes and phones.

- Still tossing things in the dumpster. Getting more creative every day. Closets. Check. Drawers. Check. It's all gotta go. Holidays are coming!

- Speaking of holidays--I am starting to believe, once again, that I will make many crafty, artistic and creative projects in time for gift giving. This usually results in fun trips to the craft store followed by cluttered closets and crazed, online, backup gift shopping. (And apparently tossing of craft supplies in dumpsters many months later when I find them in their original packaging!) I am trying to limit the craftiness to realistic projects. Some candles, some stamping projects (cards and tags) and baking. I may need to just stay away from craft stores completely. Unless, of course, the kids want to make something fun and creative.

- Have started back into two research projects. Writing is going slowly since I have to reread a lot of the research I had already done. Good to keep the brain from turning into mush.

We had the yard sale this weekend. In between the rain and baseball we threw all of our junk in the driveway and people came and scooped up the junk and called it treasures. We made a good amount of money, cleared the clutter and generally felt good.

I had my Stampin' Up party and had lots and lots of fun. People of all the different little corners of my small world got together and laughed and painted and stamped and created. I bought way too much and forgot to eat until way too late. Enjoyed the house full of noise. Enjoyed the silence of a post-guest filled house.

I saw an old friend this weekend. He was jogging by and stopped to say hello. I was very happy to see him but something has been bugging me. Little by little I am remembering parts of me--things I used to love to do, things I used to be able to do without fighting through so much emotional crap. But as happy as I am to feel and do those things again, I am afraid that they will be accompanied by the me I didn't like very much--the one who disappears too easily. I know this is all a bit vague but I feel like I am afraid to go back to those things I love for fear of losing all that I have worked to become in the meantime. I am struggling to find some kind of compromise.

Does that make any sense at all?

I spent a few hours working in the library at C's school. Finally, something I can volunteer for that doesn't involve cupcakes or fundraisers. Books I can do. Books I like.

Sparky and I spent the last few hours working on the basement and listening to the game. It's good to work on something together.

Oh, and as a measure of how much I love my kids (because I didn't let them go) and how much I love my husband (because I did go), I spent 95 minutes wondering, "What the hell is the matter with them?" this afternoon when we went and saw Jackass 2. I am almost embarassed to admit how hard I laughed.

The house next door is for sale. We have been incredibly lucky since we have lived here. A single man in his late 80s lived there until just recently when he passed. He was quiet, kept to himself and very kind to the boys.

But we were spoiled. We have a shared driveway and the yards are very open.

When people stop in to look at the house my stomach gets tied up in knots. I look at them and try to imagine if they would be good neighbors. And when people stop in and it looks like a damn circus act--you know, the clown car where people just keep. on. getting. out. of. the. car.--I think holy shit! Not them! It's a small house. It's a small yard. Where are you going to put all those friggin' kids???

So, I suppose I should be all smiles and cakes and welcoming committee-ish but what I really feel like doing is peeing in the corners, growling and telling them to back the hell off.

Oh, and don't pet my dogs without asking me. And then, when I call the dogs in? Don't cop a fucking attitude and say, "What? I'm not allowed to pet them?" Because seriously? I will make your life a living hell. Have you met my kids? :)

Some people get a Spring Cleaning bug. For me, Spring is for baseball and getting back outside. Not for cleaning. Feh.

But impending holidays? Now that's an excuse for major renovations. I called and ordered the dumpster this afternoon which means that after months of, "We'll do that soon," we are going to do that now!

New floor, new entertainment console with gorgeous moldings and millwork (helps to have contractor hubby!), new felt and paint for the pool table, new lights, new piano, new tv and stereo, huge amounts of hidden storage for legos that seem to reproduce while I'm not looking, an art center...I am giddy!

Plenty of pics as we rip out the musty, 60s basement and move onward and upward, well, you know. It's a basement. Also, I am sure, plenty of whining about sore backs and dumbass klutzy injuries. But that's the price you gotta pay. Teeny, tiny houses need as much functional space as possible. Did I mention oodles of storage? And new bookshelves? And a dumpster? A dumpster! If it isn't nailed down or necessary it's going out. See ya clutter!

Actually, I spoke to a helpful member of the Police Dept. and will be issued a tow only release this morning. Whew. One battle down.

But back-to-school night for J is tonight. I'm not putting the weapons away just yet.

During my late night kid battle/insomnia fest I made a new tv addict site. I will be moving (most) of my obsessions over the new fall shows over there. Feel free to stop over and obsess with me...you know, if you ever find yourself looking for someone to chit chat with.

And look:

Wow...do I need some sleep.

Ah, nothing quite as fun as getting the royal runaround from the Twp., impound lot and DMV. You don't think they are stalling to get more money do you? I mean, just because I have to pay a daily storage fee? I am sure they are doing their very best to expedite matters. It's not like the car is loaded with drug paraphernalia. It's filled with bags of clothes and boxes of books for donation. Feh.**

In the meantime, since I can't leave until the nice officer calls me back, I have scratched many tedious items off the household drudgery checklist and posted my RfP Wednesday review.

Umm...you towed my car. This is a problem for me since I have already called a tow truck to tow my car and now I don't know where to send the nice man in the ginormous truck.

Grrr.

Nothing spoils a good day of shopping and lunch like coming home to a notice that the police have towed your car. Especially when you have just made arrangements to donate said car to charity. Months. Nothing. Today you need to be a pain in the ass.

AAARGH!!! Let's top this off with a good helping of crappy technology. When I went to post this the cable went out. You know...internet, TV, phone. The phone the tow guy and police are supposed to call on. %#^$*@*&#^$^

Did you know that I had one? No. I am not a superhero. I just don't do the tights with the underwear on the outside thing. And I'm not really a people person, or a morning person, so I'm not rushing out of the batcave to save anyone before tea and Buffy in the morning.

But seriously, I have a secret identity. I have starred in every Broadway musical--or at least most of them. Ok, ok, or at least the ones that they are playing on Sirius' Broadway channel this morning.

Oh yeah, I can belt 'em out in the living room while raking the legos from the rug.

Later this morning I will be starring as Adelaide, Elphaba, Leo Bloom, Roxie Hart, and who knows I might throw in a little Marian the Librarian (although I'm more likely to be singing about trouble with a capital "T").

What? You don't do this? My UPS guy loves it.

So, if you aren't belting out showtunes...what do you do when no one is looking?

I have mentioned it before. I am a compulsive list maker. I often use list making as a means of procrastinating. 'Cause, you know, I am working on something if I am making a list, right? Part of it is a means of coping with ADD. Anyone who has ADD knows that there are some things you need to do like keeping your keys and wallet in the same place every single time or you will never find them. Lists are another part of this.

Lately though, I am pretty sure that I am making lists that include making other lists. And today I am so tired and PMS-y that my lists include crazy small things that normal people don't need to be reminded of. "Eat lunch." "Get a shower." And still? I enjoy my smug sense of accomplishment when I cross those off.

Could be a bit of birthday dread sneaking in as well. My birthday list for Sparky included things like "no stress for the day" and "be nice." Hey, those are free, require no shopping or wrapping and are guaranteed to be a hit!

Anyone else lost without their lists?

Look what is coming to my house very, very soon! How lucky am I? The fabulous and talented Mac whipped these up for me as part of her Get Out of Dodge fundraiser.

I am going to have some very happy feet!

And....as if that weren't enough...my very own Sirius radio came this afternoon (a special offer dealio since Sparky already has one). Oh, the joy of torturing the children. Yes, I made them listen to showtunes. But I love the Coffee House Station and the college/indie station.

It's a good night.

Sometimes when you are having a bad day that involves police, school nonsense, upcoming birthday stress and an untrainable husband you get a surprise phone call out of the blue and you are reminded that you are an actual person and not just a stomping, whining, bitching, batshit insane, crazy nutjob.

Just sometimes.

Also, there's Halloween candy. Yup, it's back. I know it's early but I am weak. Very weak. And stressed. Very stressed. And it's chocolate...

Looks like J had a "great" day and his teacher is "awesome!" Such exclamations are not to be taken lightly around here. Hoping that it lasts.

Found a fun book challenge and a whole lotta new book blog links while updating Overdue Books. Have a look and join in the reading.

on edit: My choices for the R.I.P Reading Challenge are in the extended entry and I am thinking of doing one as a group read if we can get some people interested. Let me know.

Happy Birthday to my sister who is obviously much, much older than I am ;) Hope you are having a fun day and that if you are stuck trudging off to work this morning at least you have fun Hawk Mountain memories to tide you over.

And hey, as a present to you...I didn't post the underoos picture!

Happy Birthday!!

My kids are complete opposites. That's ok. It's even kind of fun. J is my computer kid--creative, funny, artistic. He can draw and paint, loves to read, knows more about the computer than we ever will. C? He is my active kid--baseball, general kidlike running about, etc. He is my social kid, makes friends easily.

So we are heading out today school shopping. What could be more fun than dragging 9 and 12 yr old boys through multiple clothing and shoe stores??? Oh wait! Add in a trip for school supplies!** You know bribes were in order.

The oldest just got art supplies for art lessons so we are covered. And C? He decided this morning that dad's old skateboard is just not cool enough. He is going to crack open the piggy bank, let the moths fly out and buy his own board. He is a funny kid. J is a spender--as soon as he has it, it's spent. But C plots and waits. And now? He doesn't want just any board. He wants a specific, very cool board that needs to be purchased at a specific, very cool shop. I, of course, had no idea where this would be but a quick internet search and a bribe is in place. We will go to the skate shop after school shopping. Bwahahahahaha!

Wish me luck. Shopping with boys. Ugh!

Ok, what do I want to make for dinner? I can go to the store. I can get some fresh veggies or pasta or meats. So what do I want?

(Besides a nap!)

Suggestions? Recipes? What's good?

Woo! I got in early on the Knitted Goods to Get Out of Dodge offer at Mac's.

Can I tell you how happy my feet are going to be???

Get on over and see if you can still get in on the deal, get something snazzy and help fund some exciting travel plans.

Hurry up or you will just be jealous of my fancy new socks all winter long.

and I can't possibly watch one more infomercial.

Oooh. Dragonheart is on. At least I can listen to Sean Connery while I squinch my eyes shut and try again to get some sleep.

Too tired to read. Too awake to sleep. (But apparently not too tired to whine about it online!)

Right before I got the pretty, zippy new computer my old one crashed. This means that I lost a few email addresses that I could use right now.

So, here's the cryptic-y part. IF you went to college with me, AND you were my roommate, AND you have the same first name as I do--email me!

Oh, and thanks for the book recommendations!

We survived the week and even managed to have some fun. Now I have to plow through the post-vacation debris.

Last night we got a phone call from a friend asking if we could help them out by watching him today. Uh. Sure. **panicked cleaning commenced**

At least the house is now clean and all I have to do is 3596873457 loads of laundry and figure out what I am going to do about school.

Have I mentioned school? Have I mentioned that I am not registered for classes? Or that I don't know what I am doing? Or that I am not sure what my next move is? Oh, that's right, I keep starting that post and not finishing--kind of like those two papers I have hanging over my head.

So for now, I'M BACK!! And I will be happily blogreading and catching up on my new computer (!) as soon as it arrives this morning 'cause when it's a choice between laundry and new toys--no contest.

Whatcha been up to?

off to the woods to camp (ok, and watch movies!)

be good while i'm gone. review a book. don't run with scissors. you know the drill.

I am apparently going to be stuffing clothes willy-nilly into bags and grocery shopping with the winos in the wee hours of the night.

I should be doing that right now and being organized and efficient but screw that I am going to a teen chick flick with a buddy to drool over barely legal actors. ha!

Sometimes when I get in a bit of a funk and I feel like I have absolutely no direction, I know that it is time for a little time out.
The problem is, of course, that between the crazy ass voices in my head and the crazy ass children in my house, meditation can be a stressful proposition.

Here's how it goes:

Quiet introspective voice: You should really take some time for yourself so that you can feel more grounded and less stressed.

Bitchy voice: What are you on crack? Where the hell would you even sit in this hellhole of a house? Are you just going to sit on the laundry or stack the piles higher?

Quiet introspective voice: Nothing is going to get done if you don't start feeling less out of control.

Crazyass kid #1: MmOOOoooommmmm! He's poking the dog!

Crazyass kid #2: No I am not. He's tattling! MmmmmmmoOOOOOOOOooooommmm!

Bitchy Voice: Oh yeah, this is going to go well. No wonder you never get shit done around here.

QIV: Just take a deep breath, have a little patience, explain to the kids you need a few minutes.

Bitchy Voice: BWahahahahahahahaha! Go get a damn glass of wine, order a pizza and deal with the fact that tonight, like many other nights, is a wash.

End result? Mike's Hard Lemonade and the ballgame is as close to quiet meditation as we're getting here tonight. Got the monsters all set with some water guns which should buy me about 30 minutes until they come in stomping and screeching. Ah summer, isn't it fun?

Psst. I told you that this desktop was limping along. Know what that means? New Toy!! And I got to pick out just which bells and whistles would make me the happiest.

Also means that J will get this one all cleaned out and tuned up and C will get the bargain we got from the estate sale next door--a two year old Dell for $100 with a flat screen and a printer.

Woohoo! I love new toys!

Last night our kids lost their last playoff game. It wasn't a surprise. We were playing an undefeated team--the team that 10 run ruled us last time--that team. We played the whole game (no cutoff for time or weather) and managed to keep them to only a one run lead. That's a victory as far as we are concerned. Plus, we did it without teaching them any unsportsmanlike plays.

As we were walking out the umpire stopped me to tell me two things.

1) He was very glad that our team made the playoffs because, of all the teams there, our kids showed more sportsmanship than anyone else. They congratulated the other team on nice plays, picked eachother up when they were down, never questioned the umps and never said anything about the other team. He also said that our coaches made sure that every kid left feeling good about how he played and not many coaches do that. Our kids had fun and it showed. It was good to hear after our previous run-in.

2) (And this is where I am very, very proud!) He said, "That catcher, the blonde--I think he's your son--he's a tough little player. He gets hit and gets right back in there. I love watching him behind the plate. I always see him taking care of the other guys on the team too. When your littlest player made the last out, your son was right there to tell him how well he had done for the whole game and that that one out didn't matter. You don't see that kind of a player very often. He's a good kid and a good team player." *sniff*

So, yeah, we lost. But I could care less. I have never been prouder of C and our team. After the game he was awarded the game ball for MVP of the season. And since I am bragging...and 'cause I know you wanna know....here are the stats:
For the summer league he lead the team in each of the following:
.643 batting average
6 singles
3 doubles
1 triple
1.000 slugging percentage
13 RBIs
.762 on base average**

He's very proud of that game ball. Maybe I will try and get a picture of it. For now, we are curled up in the air conditioning, after a morning of baseball camp, watching Benchwarmers.

I ran to the store and picked up a box of ziploc bags because really, how can you get through the day without zipping something in? Food? Snacks? Books for the pool? Legos?

When I reached in the the box I realized that the box was filled with "food storage bags." "What's the problem," you wonder.

No zips! No little ridgies at the tops. These odd throwbacks were just bags with twist ties! Who would buy those? Why do they still make these? What kind of cruel joke was it to put them where I would accidentally grab them while dazedly drifting through the aisles of the grocery store? I pinched and zipped and slid and nothing. I could poke an eye out with those twist ties. I could get a very nasty cramp in my fingers trying to wriggle them tightly around the bag.

Be careful. This could happen to you. I'm just sayin'....

twist ties???....

Sometimes, just sometimes, when you have a short fuse and a bad temper you should try to be a grown up even if you think the other person really, really deserves what they get and you aren't even that sorry.

You know....sometimes.

And sometimes it comes back to bite you in the ass.

(Waiting now for the bite)

on edit: really it was just a nibble...not bad at all

Yesterday we got to the fields before the heat was at its worst (7:30 am!!) and warmed up for the AllStar team's do or die game. Unfortunately, it wasn't "do."

The guys played well. C caught all six innings in that heat***. He walked twice and flew out to right field. But the other team had fantastic pitching and, as anyone who has watched a Little League game can tell you, pitching wins every time.

Afterwards, C was sitting with his head down in the dugout, no tears, just sitting all alone on the bench. His last at bat was his flyout so I thought he was upset about it. Nope. He was just sad that the season was over.

"Now I don't have any baseball."

What?? Two PAL games this week. Baseball camp the week after. A long needed camping break for a week and then two teams of Fall Ball plus winter pitching clinics. No baseball?

And for those parents who ask us why we push him to play on all these teams. Trust me. We don't. He pushes us. I am looking forward to vacation :)

Spent the rest of yesterday at two pools--one pool party for the team and then the rest of the day with friends at the pool where they live.

We are sunburned and relaxed and..well...watching a little ball on TV. What else?

The newspapers were there yesterday taking pictures of the team and a friend sent me a couple so I will post some soon.

***C is very proud of this since not even the 9s and 10s have catchers that go the whole game. He checked. :) Also to make C proud: The other coaches backed up their outfielders when he got up and he was walked once on purpose by a pitcher who was afraid of him. Did he get the hit? Well, he put the bat on the ball and sent it out there, but he is still feeling really good about being the cleanup batter for his team.

Another article in the local paper this afternoon with C's name. The kid is getting very nonchalant about the whole thing. In fact, after he read that he drove in the team's only RBI he looked at me kind of sadly and said, "But they didn't put in that I picked off a runner..." Ah, fame.

And I believe tonight marks the fifth viewing of the movie The Benchwarmers in two days. The boys are loving this one. Sparky and I enjoyed it the first couple of times but are now starting to recite it!

Wish us luck. Tomorrow is the possibly C's last AllStar game for the season. If he wins the go to the playoffs. If not, well, it would take some creative math and a bit of luck to get them there.

This morning I was screamed awake by J.

"Computer's broken!"

This is a fairly common cry and usually I stagger out of bed and fix the problem. But this morning?

Blue screen of death.

I knew it was coming. Dammit. Trying to repair it but thinking that it is almost time to put the poor thing out of its misery. *sniff*

A rainy, but happy birthday for my little guy. He got up bright and early and dove into his birthday loot--a new catcher's skull cap and mask, a new gear bag and guitar hero for PS2 (which is very addictive and has me shouting things like "you're going down little man!" throughout the day). Then he suited up for his tournament only to find out that the rain had made the fields unplayable.

Bonus of this was that my family had driven down for the game so he got his party started early with his buddy and his grandparents showing up by breakfast time.

He had a great time, raked in lots of fun goodies and is now passed out in his completed bedroom.

I can't believe my littlest guy is nine. Happy birthday little man!!

That's it for the night. I have to get up really early anyway so I am calling it a night. Bedrooms are put back together and most of the debris from the project is cleaned up or at least hidden.

Cupcakes still need to be made but I will have time for that while the birthday boy enjoys his loot.

Besides, everyone else crapped out on me about an hour ago and the snoring is too tempting. If you can't beat 'em...

(The rain is really going to put a crimp in C's bday plans. I doubt they are going to get to play the tournament game and a picnic looks damp at best. I am just hoping we don't lose power again!!)

As we put the final coat on the shelves....again....the rumbling started. It was one of those storms that sneaks in and then just explodes.

We raced to get the shelves in before the paint was ruined.

Success! Now the dressers have been emptied, J's room is done and as soon as the paint on C's shelves dries we will start loading them up.

Then all I need to do is clean the house, grocery shop, do laundry, clean the rat cage, make a cake, make cupcakes and make salads.

and drink....

The gorgeous bookcase that Sparky built was finally dry and ready to come in. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to carry half of this. It is huge!

I wowed Sparky with my sheer strength as we got it up the steps and in the back door, through the hallway and now just a simple little K turn into C's room.

*((*#^@%$&!!^%#%#$*

It doesn't fit. Oh we had measured. We knew just how high we could build it so that we would still be able to stand it up when it got inside. Trouble is there is no straight way into C's room and this thing just doesn't bend. Neither do my knuckles, which are now scraped and bruised from banging into doorways or my back, which used to bend but now just sort of hunches over like Lurch.

We shoved the damn thing out the front door where it awaits a morning chopping with a saw and some creative rebuilding to become a snazzy two piece unit.

Whether or not any of this gets finished by C's birthday is no longer certain.

No stress here.......grrrrrr.

ok, what genius thought it would be a good idea to tackle every project left in the kids' rooms two days before C's b-day??? Yeah, I know. Me.

But now? I have two dressers completely emptied, two bookshelves worth of books all stacked in the living room while bookcases are built/painted. And a halfway finished mural!

But...C's room is painted the base coat and trim and the bookcases are all built. Maybe, just maybe if I don't sleep between now and then....oh, and if I stop blogging and go back to work ;)

I have been trying to teach myself guitar. I can play lots of instruments but for some reason guitar has been something I just couldn't figure out. But...I am trying again.

And tonight? Success! Well, a little success. I was plucking out a tune with my poor sore fingers and Sparky said, "What are you playing? Is it *insert name of tune I am not going to tell you since I am not going to be mocked for my choice in easy guitar songs*?"***

He guessed the right song! It sounded like it! And he didn't make fun of me for picking that to learn!! Woooo! Book me now. Tickets will be hard to come by!

C's birthday is Saturday and he is having his fans come back to the house after the big game for some cake and presents. We are doing the usual frantic party cleaning and yard maintenance and hoping that the weather cooperates.

But today? Today we have decided to paint C's room. Some of you may remember that C's room had the nemo mural in it. But last week C had a buddy over and as he opened the door to his room he said, "My dad hasn't repainted my room yet so I still have the little kid stuff."

Poor Sparky. He knows that C loved that mural but he's sad that he's outgrown it and sadder that he was embarassed. But that's what little boys do. They grow up little by little, fish by fish.

So this afternoon we are painting the little guys room Mets blue with a wall of orange bookshelves* (and a trophy shelf!) and a large mets logo on one wall with a few NY logos scattered about. Yup--he wants a Mets room.

I plan on taking lots of pics as nemo goes away and my baby boy's room turns into a big kid's room. *sniff*

No. A bee! A flippin' bee flew in my shorts and then did what bees do. Yowch! And I was in the dugout keeping the scorebook for 8 yr olds so I was reduced to swearing like a cartoon character and hopping around holding ice up my shorts, effectively making it look like I peed. This, of course, is the funniest thing ever to 8yr old boys--a crazy ass mom hopping around, making up words and wetting her pants? Priceless.

But if you really want to hear 8yr old boys screaming wildly like--well--8yr old girls...just get 'em to score 9 runs in one inning to come back from a 7-0 deficit and win a tournament game on a dramatic grand slam home run! My ears are still ringing

Yeah, my bee pants were long forgotten.

I am celebrating/nursing my wound with an ice cold Mike's.

****wanna know how C did?*******

really, we would.

but it's HOT!!!

And yes, I'm whining. I may even have stomped my foot and stuck out my tongue.

Glad the headlines of the paper say "Hot! Hot! Hot!" because without reading that I never would have noticed that we are all melting into a big, damn puddle of sweat. What would we have done??

I have been trying to get back into the exercise habit. ha! That's funny. It sounds as if at one time I was all exercise-y. But you get the idea. Anyway...lost a few pounds, feeling pretty good but my review? Yoga? good. Pilates? OW!! It's a bit of cross-training since Yoga at my house is a combination of stretching and dodging face-licking from two small but very quick pups.

*****Baseball stuff in the extended********

C played a great game yesterday. They beat their first opponent in this tournament 11-6 and C caught every inning. It was 97 degrees out so he was pretty proud of sticking it out behind the plate.

Afterwards he wanted to have a buddy over for a sleepover. No problem, I thought. I can brave a few boys in the house, I thought.

Within ten minutes of us getting home the power went out. We haven't lost power here for more than ten minutes in all the time we've been here with the exception of the tornado. Even then we had power back within an hour. But last night? It was out until the wee hours of the morning.

Boys. Lots of them. No A/C. No electronics. Ack!!

We wound up playing Pirate's Dice by candlelight, which they found to be very authentic. Then I crossed my fingers and hoped that the portable dvd player was working. Whew! It had enough charge to lull them to sleep later in the evening.

The power returned around 2:00 in the morning and I smiled as the A/C whooshed back through the house.

We made it! One sleepover....survived!

I have had this blog for almost four years now. Four years! I have ranted, raved, joked, boasted and blathered on about many, many things and lately I just stare at it and wonder what there is that I should write. But that's not it exactly. I know a lot of things that I should write but I just don't seem to do it. I have so much swirling around in my head right now that I can't put it all down. More than that though--I won't.

You see people read this. No not millions of fascinated and curious fans or anything like that. But some people. And some that I know in real life. Oddly, it's those that I know in real life that seem to keep me self-censoring right now. I just don't have it in me to have these discussions if they amount to more than late night typing at my little desk.

So I think I should post pictures of my fun trip to the aquarium with my sister and the girls (and I will--honest) but then it seems so trivial compared to things that are racing around my head as I try to sleep at night.

Don't get me wrong. There aren't any catastrophes that no one knows about (please don't call in a panic!). I just can't manage bubbly and perky and even snarky is a stretch. Since it's baseball season I have to feign social skills for hours at a time and when I get home I am exhausted. I can't manage fluff and nonsense. And I don't want to try and think anything through.

Like I told a friend. I am living in the world of puppies and pirates and denial. There's vodka and baseball here. It's good.

So....

All caught up. Kind of...

We're home. Vacation was good if not relaxing and we are home safe and sound. Here's the jumbled random list of what you missed:

Sheesh. We can nominate this for the most boring blog entry award! I just wanted to get all this out of my scrambled brain so I could get back on track around here.

Play nice while I'm gone! I'm headed off to the beach. (You can tell it's time for vacation because it's raining!)

On the schedule? Lounging about, frolicking, reading and baseball. Rain or shine, that's a good week.

When I get back I will change that magic number drastically ;) --->

C is all ready for his All Star tournament and we will get a call while we're away telling us when his first game is.

See ya in a bit!

I never miss baseball practice. I love being at the fields, watching the kids, hearing the sounds. But tonight I am staying home to finish packing and see if I can kick this cold. So far I watched X-Files with J and folded one more load of laundry.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow we head out to LBI. I don't care if it rains all week (and it looks as if that's a possibility). I am going to relax, read, play board games (scrabble anyone?) and unwind.

J is like me--choosing which stack of books to bring is our biggest decision. C and Sparky are more..ummm...active. Lucky for them they are trucking back and forth three days for Allstar practice. We still don't know the end date for our vacation because we don't have the tournament schedule. But hell, we're on vacation. We can be very flexible.

Now getting to vacation? I may just have to beat the kids and leave them on the side of the road. Why is it that a 45 minute-hour drive is the absolute worst amount of time in the car? Long, long trips. No problem. But that? They will be lucky if they aren't duct taped to the seats. You know. 'Cause I'm mother of the year ;)

I figured I would get my pencil and start scratching things off the list. 'Cause that's the fun of lists, you know, the scratching off bit. I put things on there like "eat breakfast" just so I can scratch them off later and feel very busy and accomplished.

So I walk to the table, ready to start scratching and realize, "Shit! None of that was on the list!"

So you know what I did, don't you? Yup, I added it so I could scratch something off.

- nap...check
- billionth load of laundry...check
- nap...check
- sneeze a gajillion times until eyes ache and may pop from head...check
- clean off coffee table...check
- rest...check
- write more lists...check

ok, you get the idea. I caught a nasty cold and it is making this damn check list loom even larger over my head. Just get me to the beach with some NyQuil and a book and all will be well.

I did however email someone about getting the comments fixed. 'Til then email me

I keep telling myself that I need to get the house together this week, do a ton of laundry, pack for vacation, finish painting, etc.

You know what I realized today?

Holy smelly boy laundry batman! "This week" means I have to get all this crap done today and tomorrow. What the hell was I thinking?

Maybe the housesitter won't open any closets or look under any beds? Could happen.

That's my day.

Tension caused Sparky to get a migraine so I drove everyone up to see J's presentation on Alaska while Sparky napped (clever ploy I think...)

J did great and is a very animated public speaker. He was happy that we could all be there instead of just Dad so in the end the migraine was a good thing.

Also, I think he headed the migraine off before it really started since he is much better now and jackhammering the driveway!!!
Looks like my beautiful new wood gate will soon be swinging where the hideous old chain link used to be. Yay!

More good news? The baseball politics and tension seems to be easing. In fact, C was invited to come and practice with the 9s tonight. I think we will decline until he settles in with his new team, but it was a nice gesture.

Aahhhhhh! A housesitter!

I'm not sure which. I am very, very pleased that we found someone to watch the house and take care of the pups. We hate to kennel them if we don't absolutely have to.

But....someone is going to be staying in my house! And I am going to have to clean it. And I have stuff. No, not valuable stuff, she's a great person and has fantastic references, I am not at all worried about securuty. It's just that, you know, stuff is very telling ;)

Plus, the laundry might eat her while I am gone if I don't get it under control.

Lists, lists, lists. Color-coded, obsessive, lists. It's what's keeping me sane (-ish).

Is it just the PMS talking or did they really let all the stupid people out at once today?

Just askin'...

still no comments. email me

I am giving in to the rainy day and switching to comfort mode.

A few rainy day indulgences:

So the plan is some good movies, comfort food and an evening in a cozy room with a good book and some of my favorite candles burning. C'mon rain. Do your worst.**

Yesterday I was all hopped up on the high of home improvement. The house was getting painted (exterior), the last of the tornado damage was being repaired, gates were being built.

But today. Friggin' rain. And that means that the basement will get damp and the smell of musty basement will waft through the house with the AC. Ew. And no--I am not turning off the AC. It's icky and muggy out. Sheesh.

It rained during C's playoff game. He was eliminated yesterday but he liked the rain. Just like the pros.

I don't like the rain. I have the fear of unfinished projects and a half-painted house. Oh yeah, and a musty basement.

J asked if we could watch Stuart Little this morning since we hadn't seen it in a long time.

What's the harm I thought.

Do you know who's in it? Hugh Laurie. House!! I was completely creeped out watching him be sickly sweet. It isn't right. It must be a trick. I know there is snark there somewhere waiting to sneak out.

Then I figured it out. The screenplay was written by M. Night Shyamalan.

Who knew?

A long, wet weekend and I thought I would break up the monotony by actually cooking and making some new recipes.

I thought, "Oooh! I have a really good hummus recipe and I have always wanted to try it! And I have fresh basil in the garden!" (I often think with many, many exclamation points)

So here's the thing. I want to be cool and trendy and like hummus. And I was assured that this is actually good hummus by cooler people than myself. But I just don't like it. I even made the same face the kids did. Blech. Then we all laughed, stored it in the fridge so I can throw it out in a day or two and made fresh strawberry shortcake 'cause mmmmmmm....dessert.

So let's check it off on the list of cool foods I just am not cool enough to like. sushi. check. thai food. check. seafood of any kind. check. sigh...and now hummus. check.

I am doomed to boring suburban foods. I might as well dig into my mom's scary Woman's Day cookbooks or start buying processed meat-foods.

Oh well, Sparky is happy he is getting my famous meatloaf, garlic redskin mashed potatoes and spring salad. Yup, I said it. I make a mean meatloaf. That's what happens when you aren't cool enough for hummus. ;)

We caved in and put the A/C on.

A busy day of doing nothing and getting lots done. We managed to sleep in this morning 'til 8:30 and after that the day flew by.

In between rain storms we planted a bit, got the hitch installed on my car, Sparky rebuilt the playhouse (repairing some storm damage), built my new bike rack and we set up the new tent.

Then we meandered to the fields for a pick-up game where C hit four home runs and tromped the other team! (Kids against the Dads!)

In a strange display of social skills I invited everyone--kids and adults--back to the house for dinner and s'mores. Look at that. I was social.

We sat around the fire roasting marshmallows and relaxing 'til we looked at the time and realized that we had four sugared up kids and it was after 11. Ah!

It was good to hang out outside all day--even with the rain--and now it feels good to throw the windows open and curl up under the covers.

A good day. Plus s'mores.

We had a fun time at the zoo with my sister and the girls. Saw the new big cat exhibit. We will make a judgment on that once we can see it without kicking our way through the gajillion school groups ;)

Sparky came home tonight with a couple of presents. I love presents! He found the piece to repair the grill and that means yummy food for the weekend. And...we just spent an hour or so relaxing in the backyard around our new firepit. Yay! Just like camping. Skeeters and everything (we'll work on that part)

Menu for tomorrow is grilled kabobs followed by s'mores around the fire.

Presents are fun!

Surpised the boys with a day off from school. We are off Philly to see the return of the big cats at the zoo. My sister and the girls are going as well so as long as we don't get rained on it looks like a fun day.

Right now the boys are dragging after staying up late to watch Taylor win. They were very happy since they are still too young to leer at the boobies of Katharine and find her very frightening. Sparky wanted Taylor to win as well but enjoyed the black dress a bit more than the boys did ;)

I need to run and get ready but TiVo is calling to me, luring me with its season finale goodness.

I was so excited to see the UPS guy that I almost kissed him--really. Afterall, he was finally bringing me a replacement hose for the grill. (Damn squirrels!)

I could taste my yummy, fresh, grilled dinner--smell the delicious meal that was soon to be grilling up.

I ran to the deck, tore the packaging off and....

it's the wrong damn part...again!!!

**shakes fist at squirrels**

random bullets. you know the drill.

The "oh damn! I missed a spot with the sunscreen" sunburn.

I have a lovely stripe on the side of my face. Very fashionable ;)

C went two for two today--single, double and a walk. He's a happy guy. We spent the day outside in the sunshine at the fields. Good day all around.

J picked a movie for us for this afternoon so we are avoiding the replay of the Mets/Yanks game and heading out to see it.

Bitchy woman survived another game without having to remove my sneaker from any crevices. She's very lucky ;)

Heading out to the fields for C's doubleheader and hoping for sun and not rain.

Before I leave though..

HOW 'BOUT THOSE METS????

A few things about last night's game:

Our team's sponsor Chamber's Walk Cafe has been exceptionally generous to the team. Besides their continued support and sponsorship they go way above and beyond by giving the kids jackets with their names embroidered on them. Anyone who lives nearby me (and you know who you are) please stop in and support them. Good food. Good people.

And guess what I have? My very own jacket. And guess what it says on it? Coach!! I was very surprised and yes, I admit it, I got a little teary. Anyone who knows me in real life knows I'm not very sporty. But we love baseball around here and get involved however we can to help out so I was really proud to have my very own jacket. And C? He couldn't wait to wear his in to school on this nasty, rainy day.

Ok, one other little point. I hate when people don't like me.

It has been a long week for everyone. There has been much crying, stomping, yelling and whining and that was just me. Imagine what a week the boys have had!

So tonight we are headed out to the circus. You know. The circus. The boys have never been and since it is less than ten minutes away from here we thought we would have a little fun tonight.

We did manage to squeeze in a little baseball between the rain last night. C did the best he has ever done. He pitched two innings--struck out three--and went 3 for 4 at the plate--two doubles and a single. And the doubles were real doubles not the poor fielding variety of Little League doubles. But then the old C reappeared at the end with tears and attitude and it took all the fun out. The ump--a 13 yr old kid--made a bad call at the plate. C was catching and had made the play--a force play--but the plate was so muddy that the ump couldn't see the plate and called the runner safe. C knew he had him and came back in full of tears and not wanting to go back out for the end of game lineup/high five.

I have to say that I was mad at him. I know it isn't fair. But we worked so hard at keeping the tears out of baseball this year and I hate when he does this. I hate how it ruins his day and he forgets how great he did. And I hate that the All-Star coach was watching and hadn't seen him much all year until then. He's been playing his heart out all year and one bad day and he forgets how great he's doing.

Dogs are lolling about in the yard, tv is off, I can hear the hum of the dryer and the tinging of loose change from pockets against the sides, I wrote a few pages and cleaned up.

Baseball tonight with a picnic dinner for everyone.

I needed a day like today.

Now...I think it's possible to squeeze in lunch and some all important summer clothes shopping before I have to pick up C ;)

C went to practice tonight with a friend of ours (his coach from last year). I can't say enough about this guy. Without him C might not have had the interest and I know he wouldn't have had the skills to play this year.

So he warmed up with the coach and his team (10-11yr olds) and then we went to our practice where it was just C and one other kid.

After a while Sparky's cell phone rings. Another 10-11 yr old team wants C to play tonight. He's played for them a few times before. He caught a few innings, made a great play at the plate, got on base every time (walks) and had a great time.

At the end of the game they handed him a schedule. They want him to play all the time.

So double headers for C on Saturdays. He'll play with his team and theirs (or his other team!). Not bad for a kid who should be playing 8s. He is getting more confident and hopefully when All-Stars comes around he can play up to 9s with his buddies.

A little baseball can make a lot of stress go away. I did ask for help and got incompletes in both classes. I will finish up the papers and turn them in.

J's bus had a camera installed that neither the drivers or the other students know about. We will see what happens tomorrow. It will be the first time he is back on the bus since the incident. I can assure them that any trouble at all and he will be back off the bus and they will be dealing with an even angrier mom.

The rest of the night is the mets game and idol. Sounds good to me.

As a means of not jumping off a bridge...a few tiny, little good things for this stressfest of a Monday:

- the boys are sitting on the floor playing a third or fourth game of chess (with their Simpsons chess set) and are not screaming or bickering.

- C is hitting the heck out of the ball and gets numerous phone calls to fill in on the 11 year old team (he's 8!). He's having so much fun playing ball this year and it's great to watch.

- Hubby has been supportive about all of this bus nonsense. Things here were touchy at best for months but *knocks wood* they are at least a bit better.

- Season finale of Grey's Anatomy

- Even though the Mets lost the series to the icky Phils, they won the second game which means we won dinner from friends. Whew! We picked the right game to bet on. They are threatening to make fish for dinner though just because they know I will crinkle up my nose and make the "ew" face. lol.

- Today is not a holiday

- I am taking the pups for a walk since the rain finally let up. Sun + me= happier me.

No progress yet on the fight. The county is working on it but while that happens I just have to sit and wait. Oh yeah, and drive J an hour each way to school while somehow teleporting a clone to pick up C who needs to be picked up and dropped off at the exact same time here.

The meeting with the school was essentially a waste of time. They took all the info, shook their heads sympathetically, and told me what I already knew--they aren't really involved in transportation.

And while all this is going on it appears that I am just sabotaging my grad school career. By the time today is over I will effectively have done just that. I don't know what is wrong with me or why I just can't bring myself to work on these papers but I just can't. Maybe it's the stress, the constant worrying about my shoddy parenting skills, the feeling I can't shake like I should put everything else first, the fact that the house is such a disaster I don't have an available work space, or maybe I am just afraid of turning something in and being judged. Whatever the problem, at this point, I have used up all my chances. I am not sending emails begging for sympathy or making up excuses. I just suck at this I guess.

I hate the rain. Mondays suck. Holidays are just grueling and I apparently will have to get a job subbing or working retail because this whole grad school thing is only for people who can get their shit together and I am not one of them.

1) After spending lots of time with Mentor and other academic friends I am reminded that the chances of my finding a tenure track job are exceedingly slim. Is it wrong that that doesn't deter me? Is it wrong that I realize I may be an adjunct for years and years and I still want to get this damn degree and teach intro. and comp. classes? So if it isn't wrong...why do people give me that look? You know the one.

2) If I leave the library in the next few minutes I have time to sneak in a root beer float from Stewarts before I pick up C. Should I do it? Do I hide the evidence? :)

on edit: comments are acting wonky again so if you want to comment email me and I will post them for you. thanks!

When I have more time I will write all the details of my trip. For now, know that I am safe and sound and having a great time. I met up with some old friends and got to see Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame). That's who is in the really terrible cell phone pic below.

Now I am settling in and getting ready to grab some dinner--missing the boys but enjoying the trip.

I'm outta here. Laptop is packed so I will post when I get there.

Be good while I'm gone!

you know? The one with its head cut off? That's how I am running around right now.

Trying to tie up loose ends around here before the trip so that it is as stress free as possible while I am gone. Am I doing this to pamper Sparky? To take care of the boys? No! I am doing this to lessen the amount of panicked phone calls I get while I am away. lol.

On campus all day today. Good thing there were extensions for that paper because it looks like I will be doing a lot of non-blog writing while I am out there.

I am almost all packed. All the music is downloaded and the audio books burned to CD. And...I got the cutest little Fossil bag for the trip! You know, the important stuff :)

See you guys out there!

The countdown to Kzoo is ticking away over there------->

So many things to do today--make an appointment to get the car serviced before my long ass drive, work on final papers, get to the library--but the most important questions have yet to be answered:

1) Friday requires cute and casual clothes for the long drive to be followed by meeting up, schmoozing and cosmos. Saturday is conventiony academic wear. But Sunday? What to wear Sunday? I will be checking out of the hotel (yes, the hotel. Sorry, no dorms for me) and I will have to drive home in whatever I choose. Jeans and a cute jacket?

2) Found perfect, cute shoes that I can wear Sat. and Sun. but now what color for the pedicure?

See the decisions I am faced with?

I did order some music that I had been wanting and now I am not sure that it will get here in time. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it does though. I ordered Plans - Death Cab For Cutie and Mortal City - Dar Williams.

Ok, off to work on papers and ponder the important decisions I have facing me :)

Today is my niece's birthday. Happy Happy day little buddy! We will be there to celebrate soon.

Today the sun makes me smile and stretch.

Today we curled up under a blanket and broke the early morning quiet together cheering on our team.

Today I watched my son roll on the dew-wet grass giggling with a puppy.

Today I feel like an academic for the first time in months. I have thoughts that might spin out into papers and I am excited to write them down.

Today I am readying for Kzoo and knowing that for the first time I will not feel like an outsider--an imposter. I have plans and goals and am looking forward to every part--including a long drive to think and dream and sing loudly in traffic.

Today I read and reread an email from an old friend hearing the familiar accent through the lines of teasing and banter.

Today I am going on a breakfast date with C where we will have French toast and laugh and talk baseball and puppies and movies.

Today I feel a little more like the me I used to like.

In the middle of the night, when I was rousing Sparky from the couch, where he was watching a replay of the game through closed eyes and loud snores, the doorbell rang.

The doorbell???

"Can you please help me? I saw someone walk by the window so I rang the doorbell. I broke down and need to get a ride to Princeton."

ummm.....

"Do you need to use the phone?"

"No. I need some money to get back to Princeton. I broke down way over on [road about a mile North of here] and have no money."

I wonder then, why she was walking a mile in the opposite direction of where she needed to go and ringing random doorbells at 2:30am. Yeah, um...sorry. I can let you use the phone.

All of this was followed by speed locking of all doors and a night of wigging out when squirrels triggered the motion detector lights. I am so brave.

We had company over tonight...real company. And there was wine and pizza and chit chat. And some more wine.

C had a game today against his best buddy's team so we invited his family over. The boys played great and so did the grownups.

Now I have sleepy wine head and am almost--but not quite--too tired to realize that the paper fairy has not yet visited. I am thinking that I should leave the abstract under my pillow tonight and hope for the best.

Overall, I am counting today in the "good day" column. I miss my J (he spent the weekend with Grandma) but I know he's having fun as well.

****baseball stuff below******

This is the day when I use "charming" and "republican" in the same entry. No, no, no...not about the same people. That would be crazy talk.

I rode in on the train across from World's Loudest Republican. That's right, I am pretty sure that he even had a badge. I knew I was in trouble when every irritatingly loud cellphone conversation he had would end with "god bless." I particularly enjoyed the conversation when he fired someone--loudly--and then said, "Ok, take care. god bless." Well, at least he's thoughtful, eh? The poor man sitting next to him couldn't seem to get close enough to the window.

But the best part was when he began an uninvited conversation with his seatmate that began with "George Bush...love him or hate him you have to admit he's the best President we've had. He doesn't sit around doing nothing. He gets in there and strikes before those terrorists can see it coming. I mean if I were in a situation where there was trouble I would do something." He then alerted the train conductor that there were some suspicious looking youths in the next car. You know....shhh....minorities.

My mp3 player cannot possibly be turned up loud enough to cover up this clown's rantings. Please spare me his brand of "terror."

(Although my train ride wasn't nearly as bad as dave's!)

But afterwards I met a charming couple from England who needed someone to navigate the subways and get them to Grand Central. They were a lot of fun and here visiting their daughter at college. We got to talk about George Bush, public schools, cricket vs baseball and of course, the loud man on the train. Me? A tour guide in NYC. My how things have changed!

Today I am getting ready for the trip. I am in need of new black shoes, new makeup (time to hit the MAC counter!), some books on CD and some new tunes.

It's a long drive so if anyone has music suggestions send 'em now. I am also not too proud to beg for mix CDs to drive by. Really. I don't leave for a week.

*****baseball stuff in extended entry where I brag about C striking out a 13 yr old!******

or....random bullets of crap opening day edition:

So, a bad day yesterday was followed by the most ominous looking morning in months. I had this awful feeling all morning that something bad was going to happen and made Sparky check in every few hours to assure me that he wasn't in a ditch somewhere. Those pesky ditches cause all the trouble!

No ditches and no catasrophes and a good dose of sunshine helped put an end to my pity party.

I was going to start writing today since the countdown clock is telling me I have 10 days until Kzoo and I need to finish up to major projects by then. However, I spent the morning backing up my mp3s and photos on disks--important procrastinating tasks.

I also spent a better portion of the rainy morning in training to teach English as a second language. The method is for teaching conversational English as opposed to written English and while I am impressed at how effective the method is there is a part of me that finds it jarring to learn a language without reading or writing it. It's the geeky lit. major in me that isn't making all the connections yet. I want to write it down, sound it out, spell it, read it.
A friend of mine owns his own business (he used to work for a large company training their teachers) and he is hoping that I will take a few students for him. Seems like something I should be able to handle.

Once again I am compiling a Summer reading list and hoping that I can actually get an online reading group up and running. We have had some limited success in the past but drop me an email or a comment if you have a book suggestion or would want to be a part of the group.

Took some time to light my favorite candle, meditate and get a bit more focused. I feel much better than yesterday and much more hopeful that things will be ok. We have been making plans to do more outside as the weather improves, to spend more time as a family and to take more small trips (camping, hiking, biking, etc.). Now I just have to get through the end of the semester.

Not only did I find a twenty dollar bill in the laundry** but I also found a Diet Coke in the fridge to keep me awake on the train ride.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the Mets are no longer playing Atlanta--this might just be a good day.

I am going to finish up some last minute reading for class sitting out in the sunshine on campus and hopefully manage to snap a few pictures. Let's hope class doesn't suck the fun out of today, 'k?

**The twenty is most likely mine but I am the most unorganized person when it comes to money. I am constantly finding money in jeans and jackets. It's like a little savings plan.