The house next door is for sale. We have been incredibly lucky since we have lived here. A single man in his late 80s lived there until just recently when he passed. He was quiet, kept to himself and very kind to the boys.

But we were spoiled. We have a shared driveway and the yards are very open.

When people stop in to look at the house my stomach gets tied up in knots. I look at them and try to imagine if they would be good neighbors. And when people stop in and it looks like a damn circus act--you know, the clown car where people just keep. on. getting. out. of. the. car.--I think holy shit! Not them! It's a small house. It's a small yard. Where are you going to put all those friggin' kids???

So, I suppose I should be all smiles and cakes and welcoming committee-ish but what I really feel like doing is peeing in the corners, growling and telling them to back the hell off.

Oh, and don't pet my dogs without asking me. And then, when I call the dogs in? Don't cop a fucking attitude and say, "What? I'm not allowed to pet them?" Because seriously? I will make your life a living hell. Have you met my kids? :)