not feeling particularly researchy these days. don't know why. maybe it's that my classes aren't really that challenging or engaging. one is fairly interesting, but the truth is i could skip most of the reading and it would go unnoticed. the other is mind-numbing and useless.

i am struggling to come up with two research projects that will get the writing juices flowing but as of now i am finding myself heading back into much too comfortable territory--areas i know i could churn out a decent paper that is little more than a rehashing of previous research. that isn't going to help anyone.

i will tuck into bed early and get some reading done tonight. who knows, maybe something will jump out at me. all of this apathy is making me wonder if it is me, the program, or just the combination of the two. how bad would it be to change schools mid-program? and ugh, do i want to go through the application process again? i am feeling that i will stick this out through the MA and then consider applying to other programs.

i think a little of this comes from the fact that i am ready to be teaching. i would like to just get to it at this point--a little comp class, a basic lit. survey, something that i know i could handle. next spring i get to enroll in the pedagogy class and after that i can teach at current grad school. we'll see how it goes.

i just feel like i am treading water a bit. i wanted lively, challenging classes full of discussion and debate and in my fantasy world (no, no that one!) that's what grad school was going to be. in the real world, not so much. in the real world grad school is just like undergrad but with more writing, smaller classes and no advisor.

not bad, just not what i had imagined.