first off, this was by far the worst outing to the city i have ever had. i was already a little leery about spending the night schmoozing with artists. hubby is an artist. i divide them into two categories for the most part. those who are truly creative and independent thinkers, who may be a little bit on the fringe of things but you get the feeling that it is an intrinsic part of who they are. and the others? those who try to be "artistic." they parade about in outfits that they have chosen to make them look artistic, spouting nonsense that they think makes them sound artistic.

so, hubby comes home and announces that he has invited his new little friend to go with us. apparently she is also a mural artist and they are all buddy buddy now. the story gets more convoluted with each telling, but they met through mutual "artsy" friends and are now working together often. i have decided i don't like her, but in the interest of everyone getting along decide i will wait to meet her before passing final judgment. now hubby, being a guy, has no concept of what he has done. i can't just throw something on and go now. there is preparation involved in cutting down this new friend. sheesh. guys.

oh, not only is she going, but apparently we have to drive her to the train. the fun just never stops. she is going to get off the train a stop early and meet her husband and then meet us at the gallery.

so i meet her. fun fun fun. i don't like her. didn't figure i would, but it is intense and immediate. she is of the second type of artist. and she is a bitch. the second hubby leaves to go to the bathroom she spins on her heel not even talking and walks away. then when he returns she is all smiles and "wow, that's so interesting." urgh...

finally ditch the bitch and get into the city. after a harrowing cab ride (this guy was something else!) we make it to the gallery and i am greeted by someone who has this tattooed on her face. i meet up with my friend from high school. she looks great. she has dreds and she is just herself. different. fun. just herself. then in pops the bitch and we get into a "discussion" on what constitutes art. i don't think a sink with a sticker in it is art. shoot me. i would like to see some creativity, some craft, i don't know...some talent?? anyway she rips into me as soon as hubby isn't there. hate this woman. more free wine please!

afterwards we all decided to get something to eat. there is one place i have requested that we don't go. zen palette. sorry, i don't like it there. especially tonight as they have no liquor license and lord knows i am going to need a drink. so what does hubby suggest to everyone?? yup. zen palette. without turning into bitch from hell, i can't say, "whine whine whine i don't like that!" so off we go to have imitation tofu soy processed squishy puffs. i order a glass of water and a salad and the rude waiter says, "no salad tonight" walks away and never takes my order (not that there was anything else edible) so i just got to sit and eat nothing and drink water while some real artists and some others patted each other on the back with their artsiness. crap. i was never more miserable in my life. i wanted to run screaming to somewhere where they butchered little animals for my dining pleasure and served it up with a lovely vodka martini.

finally dinner grinds to an end and bitchface's husband offers to drive us all the way back to jersey to get our car so we don't have to take the train. hubby says, "sure great thanks!" frigginmothersonofabugginasshat!! yes, i would just love to sit in a car with them for an hour and a half because i just can't get enough of that. i wanted to jump from the car in the tunnel and suck noxious fumes. it would have been better. i am sure.

so...thus ends my fun night in the city. thankfully the kids left me some cold pizza. i am tired and crabby and if i never see that bitch again it will be too soon. did i mention that i didn't like her??? it was at least good to see my friend, although the bitch kept interupting even that to try and prove her artworthiness. feh.