a paper that i wrote last year was selected for a colloquium and sent along to a state project on gender studies and multi-cultural essays. this is exciting for me. but because i don't want to look like a geek, i downplay it around some people.
i am also terrified to present this paper. now this frightens me on many levels. first of all, this is what i have chosen to do with my life. if i get everything i want as far as a career goes, i will be presenting papers all the time at conferences all over the country. so if i am terrible at this...it could be a problem.
secondly though, and the most frustrating, is that the person who i need to lean on here is a person whose opinion means the world to me and i don't want him to think that i am this inept.

oh, and since i am so bright and cheery this morning....i deteste valentine's day. i spent years trying to "train" hubby to get holidays right. i used to make a big deal out of all holidays. his family never had and he just couldn't get into the spirit of things. so i gave up. now, after years of just letting holidays roll by, it seems he has decided to get in the spirit. but valentine's day is still just too much pressure to be romantic at a specified moment in time. i can't schedule romance on my calendar. hrumph.

but there is bright news. (check the counter on the top of the page!!) soon there will be baseball! and disney! and spring training!